The bar charts show education data related to young adults aged 15 years old in 10 different countries in 2015. The first chart shows in which countries adolescents do the most homework in terms of the hours per week. The second chart shows the nations that scored the best on an international science test. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show education data related to young adults aged 15 years old in 10 different countries in 2015. The first chart shows in which countries adolescents do the most homework in terms of the hours per week. The second chart shows the nations that scored the best on an international science test. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graphs illustrate the time
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young adults spent on homework in 10 countries and the top science score
according to
the International Standards in 2015. Surprisingly, the
hours
spent studying at home do not correlate with the results on later records of percentages achieved.
According to
the data, in Italy teenagers are spending around 8.5
hours
on average per week,
however
, the Finish pupils are tending to receive the highest grade. It is very unusual as kinds in Finland are spending less time sitting with their books,
moreover
, they have a very good school and educational system that represents those brilliant results. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries,
such
as China, Canada and Taiwan pupils are very successful based on scale,
therefore
in Canada
for instance
they tend to spend around 5.7
hours
per week studying.
Whereas
, Americans do their homework 6.1
hours
per week and receive the lowest score of 516, to compare with other countries. A very balanced stage in which Australian young adults in, they leave approximately 5.9
hours
of their time studying and
then
get a 526 score, which places them in the middle statistically.
Submitted by krisjeffay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: