IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Most countries allow 18-year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow at this age. But others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#countries #-year #olds #car #say #age
Some section of people believe that the best
age
of driving
Change preposition
to drive
show examples
 is 18
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that the
age
 should be raised to 25 , as far as I am concerned I think 18 is the best
age
 to start driving.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 we all know that the young person has a great ability for learning new things and skills rather than the old person,
Thus
 18 years old would be the ideal
age
 for driving.
Furthermore
 driving at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
 could be beneficial for younger students
due to
 the fact that at
this
age
 they attend university
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 for they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 drive to their courses which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of gaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time . On the
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that driving shouldn't be allowed at 18 years old ,
due to
 the safety of the community we all know that children
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
show examples
 are adventurous and less responsible which could cause accidents and other problems. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it's obvious that driving at 18 years old is beneficial for persons, so the benefits outweigh the risks.
Submitted by yas.mer.pharm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints, but some arguments are not fully developed. Add more detailed reasoning and examples to support each point of view.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that can affect readability. Try to proofread your work for minor errors.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay lack clear transitions. Improve the flow of your essay by using cohesive devices to link your ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, which gives a sense of completeness to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints, which shows you understand the prompt and can analyze different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, starting with an introduction and ending with a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!