IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Most countries allow 18-year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow at this age. But others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#countries #-year #olds #car #say #age
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Some section of people believe that the best
age
Use synonyms
of driving
Change preposition
to drive
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 is 18
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think that the
age
Use synonyms
 should be raised to 25 , as far as I am concerned I think 18 is the best
age
Use synonyms
 to start driving.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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 we all know that the young person has a great ability for learning new things and skills rather than the old person,
Thus
Linking Words
 18 years old would be the ideal
age
Use synonyms
 for driving.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 driving at
early
Add an article
an early
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age
Use synonyms
 could be beneficial for younger students
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 they attend university
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 for they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 drive to their courses which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of gaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time . On the
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that driving shouldn't be allowed at 18 years old ,
due to
Linking Words
 the safety of the community we all know that children
at
Change preposition
in
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adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
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 are adventurous and less responsible which could cause accidents and other problems. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
 it's obvious that driving at 18 years old is beneficial for persons, so the benefits outweigh the risks.
Submitted by yas.mer.pharm on

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task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints, but some arguments are not fully developed. Add more detailed reasoning and examples to support each point of view.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical issues and awkward phrasings that can affect readability. Try to proofread your work for minor errors.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay lack clear transitions. Improve the flow of your essay by using cohesive devices to link your ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, which gives a sense of completeness to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints, which shows you understand the prompt and can analyze different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, starting with an introduction and ending with a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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