Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
Some academic
students
present the view that to acquire
knowledge about other Change the verb form
acquiring
areas
as well as
their main subject
is important, whereas
others believe students
should pay attention only to their main discipline. I strongly agree with the former opinion.
On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that learning additional subject
give Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
students
a good insight to combine their main discipline with other areas
. Nowadays, we live in a more complex world than past times. In order to get ready better
and more efficient Change preposition
for better
in
Change preposition
apply
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
jobs
in future
, students
should know about other areas
that are related to more or less to their main subject
. For instance
, these day
, software developers must not only have knowledge and Change the determiner
this day
these days
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
about
Change preposition
in
programing
but Correct your spelling
programming
also
they should know how machinery are
operated and how operators manage their Change the verb form
is
jobs
in order to develop automations
that Correct your spelling
automation
work
efficiently.
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
On the other hand
, another group of people claim that a perfect qualification in one single subject
is crucial for the success of students
in future
. They insist that students
must pay all their attention and time to their main field of study in order to become expert
. They believe that Fix the agreement mistake
experts
Having
Expertise in one main Fix capitalization
having
subject
is enough to be successful in future
. They exemplify scientists such
as Einstein who dedicate
his life to physics and won a Wrong verb form
dedicated
noble
prize. Correct your spelling
nobel
However
, I do not find this
argument convincing as majority
of Add an article
the majority
a majority
students
need to engage with other areas
of science these days. In future
, jobs
and science are going to be extremely related to each other as even we can see a lot of Interdisciplinary majors in universities.
To conclude
, in my view, students
should have wisdom in other fields too. To be
familiar with other fields helps them to solve problems Change the verb form
Being
easier
and prosper in their Rephrase
more easily
jobs
. Moreover
, Interdisciplinary skills opens
the door to success.Change the verb form
open
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coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to achieve higher coherence and cohesion. Additionally, ensure that transitional phrases are used to seamlessly connect ideas.
task achievement
While the arguments are clear, further elaboration and depth in explanations, as well as additional specific examples, would enhance the task response score. Try to develop each point more fully.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?