IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #dollars #usa #three #items #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the monthly
expenditure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three items in a
4 month
Add a hyphen
4-month
show examples
 period in 2010. On keen observation, in
month
Add an article
the month
show examples
 of
Jan
Add a comma
Jan,
show examples
 the most
money
 was spent on food and
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 on clothing which showed an odd change in the Feb, with
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
money
 spent on food and clothing.
However
, fluctuation
observed
Add a missing verb
was observed
show examples
 in
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
overall
 the
money
expenditure
 peaked in all three categories. The fluctuation caused a disparity in
april
Change the capitalization
April
show examples
 with spending
Change preposition
on averagely
show examples
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
 the least amount of
money
.
Furthermore
, all three
Correct your spelling
categories
catergories
Correct your spelling
categories
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
peaked in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
such
 as food in Feb,
Correct word choice
and clothing
show examples
clothing
Correct word choice
and clothing
show examples
 and gas in April.
Overall
, the average
money
expenditure
was maintain
Change the verb form
was maintained
show examples
 throughout the first 2 months which
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 in
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 and marked peak
monthy
Correct your spelling
monthly
expenditure
, the fluctuation later took a dive in
april
Change the capitalization
April
show examples
.
Submitted by nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, money with synonyms.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!