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Band 4

More and more students choose to move to other countries to have higher education. Do you think the benefits of going abroad outweight its problems?

#students #move #countries #education #outweight
A lot of
students
 are choosing to
study
 abroad and the number of
students
 keeps increasing
this
 does not happen
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 no reason. These days
students
 are getting more intelligent, they make decisions
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several reasons and they consider a lot of factors. If the
students
 make
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
 to
study
 abroad it would mean that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages The biggest
advantage
 might be the increase in the chance to experience many different
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cultures it can help to develop and widen the
students
' insight.
This
 can
also
 include a chance to have an advanced education. every education
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 its own pros and cons.
However
, if they
study
 in one country for their entire life it can be challenging to identify what is an
advantage
 and what is a disadvantage. Studying abroad can strengthen those abilities so that they can take
advantage
 of the positive factors and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
filter the negative things. It sounds ideal
according to
 the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 that I mentioned above
however
, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a clear side effects. The decision should be made by the
students
 by themselves. If their parents forced them or got involved in the decision. That might lead to misadaptation and demotivation. There can be some side effects of studying abroad
however
, those are preventable things. If they can prevent the side effects there would be no meaningful disadvantages that can support not to
study
 abroad.
Therefore
, going abroad
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
 is beneficial
Submitted by az7082687 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, make sure to create clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You should elaborate on your ideas with specific examples to make your arguments more convincing. This will enhance the completeness of your response and the relevance of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensuring consistent use of grammar and complex sentence structures will improve clarity and cohesion. Avoid repeating ideas and phrases to maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
You comprehensively address the question of whether the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the problems, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay touches on both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, acknowledging different aspects of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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