IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#traditions #innovation #future #sake #progress #role #lives #minutes
t
Correct your spelling
It
 is said that tradition belongs to the past and
people
 should put it aside to keep innovating for a better future. I completely agree with
this
 argument because many
tradition
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traditional
show examples
customs
 are outdated and rarely verified by any reliable scientific evidence whether it is effective or not.
As a result
, I believe that
people
 should consider traditional
customs
 as
a useful advice
Remove the article
useful advice
a piece of useful advice
a bit of useful advice
show examples
 to maintain their social relationships. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traditional
customs
 come from the adaptation to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in the past and
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 passed down to the next generation orally.
The word
Correct article usage
Word
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 of mouth is usually misunderstood
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 behind why their ancestors did it.
Furthermore
, there are only a few
scienfitic
Correct your spelling
scientific
experiment
Change to a plural noun
experiments
show examples
 in the past to examine the credibility of these traditions.
Therefore
, most of the traditions may not
suitable
Add a missing verb
be suitable
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern life.
For instance
,
Vietnamese
Add an article
a Vietnamese
show examples
woman
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women
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 who are in the postpartum period, follow the tradition of staying in a
close
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closed
show examples
 room with
a
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apply
show examples
hot
brazies
Correct your spelling
brazier
braziers
 which is believed
that
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to
show examples
can
Verb problem
apply
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help the mother
recovers
Correct subject-verb agreement
recover
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 quickly.
However
,
this
 can lead to coal gas poisoning and may
threat
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threaten
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 the mother and
baby
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baby's
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 lives.
People
also
 can benefit from the traditional
customs
, especially social
relationship
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relationships
show examples
such
 as parents and their children, friends and family. To maintain a healthy relationship,
people
 need to set up a list of behaviour rules depending on their situations which the elderly are very skillful at. In fact, the group of elderly
people
 experienced many circumstances throughout many periods of their
life
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lives
show examples
.
An evidence
Remove the article
Evidence
A piece of evidence
A shred of evidence
show examples
for
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of
show examples
this
 is the value of Filial piety in Confucianism which is passed down to many generations and
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 being taught in many Asian
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
 today. In conclusion,
while
 traditional
customs
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 valuable
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 in the past, most of
it
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them
show examples
 are not
approproate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
the
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for the
show examples
 situations today. I believe that
people
 should consider
to get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 rid of these traditions to develop better in the future.
However
, I
also
 believe that
people
 can take advantage of traditional
customs
 to build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong social
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by saeeddjcj80 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more connecting words and phrases to link ideas between and within paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Work on grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and avoid confusion. This will help your ideas come across more effectively.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they directly support the main points and are clearly explained. This will strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
supported main points
Several main points are supported with relevant examples, showing an understanding of the topic.
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