IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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t
Correct your spelling
It
 is said that tradition belongs to the past and
people
Use synonyms
 should put it aside to keep innovating for a better future. I completely agree with
this
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 argument because many
tradition
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traditional
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customs
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 are outdated and rarely verified by any reliable scientific evidence whether it is effective or not.
As a result
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, I believe that
people
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 should consider traditional
customs
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 as
a useful advice
Remove the article
useful advice
a piece of useful advice
a bit of useful advice
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 to maintain their social relationships. Most
of
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apply
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traditional
customs
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 come from the adaptation to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in the past and
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 passed down to the next generation orally.
The word
Correct article usage
Word
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 of mouth is usually misunderstood
the
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as the
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 behind why their ancestors did it.
Furthermore
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, there are only a few
scienfitic
Correct your spelling
scientific
experiment
Change to a plural noun
experiments
show examples
 in the past to examine the credibility of these traditions.
Therefore
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, most of the traditions may not
suitable
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be suitable
show examples
 for
the
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apply
show examples
modern life.
For instance
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,
Vietnamese
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a Vietnamese
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woman
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women
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 who are in the postpartum period, follow the tradition of staying in a
close
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closed
show examples
 room with
a
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apply
show examples
hot
brazies
Correct your spelling
brazier
braziers
 which is believed
that
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to
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can
Verb problem
apply
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help the mother
recovers
Correct subject-verb agreement
recover
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 quickly.
However
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,
this
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 can lead to coal gas poisoning and may
threat
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threaten
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 the mother and
baby
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baby's
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 lives.
People
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also
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 can benefit from the traditional
customs
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, especially social
relationship
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relationships
show examples
such
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 as parents and their children, friends and family. To maintain a healthy relationship,
people
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 need to set up a list of behaviour rules depending on their situations which the elderly are very skillful at. In fact, the group of elderly
people
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 experienced many circumstances throughout many periods of their
life
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lives
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.
An evidence
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Evidence
A piece of evidence
A shred of evidence
show examples
for
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of
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this
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 is the value of Filial piety in Confucianism which is passed down to many generations and
still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 being taught in many Asian
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
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 today. In conclusion,
while
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 traditional
customs
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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 valuable
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 in the past, most of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 are not
approproate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
the
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for the
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 situations today. I believe that
people
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 should consider
to get
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getting
show examples
 rid of these traditions to develop better in the future.
However
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, I
also
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 believe that
people
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 can take advantage of traditional
customs
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 to build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong social
relationship
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relationships
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more connecting words and phrases to link ideas between and within paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Work on grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and avoid confusion. This will help your ideas come across more effectively.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they directly support the main points and are clearly explained. This will strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
supported main points
Several main points are supported with relevant examples, showing an understanding of the topic.
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