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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The two maps below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two maps below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#two #maps #show #site #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two maps represent
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Lynwich
college
Capitalize word
College
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 in 2006 and how it is now after the modifications .
Overall
, there has been a drastic change in the structure of the
college
 within the same available space .
As a result
, the main attraction is the centrally located cafeteria with access to all other facilities .
In addition
 to that, most of the trees
with in
Correct your spelling
within
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 the compound have been preserved . The cafeteria located in the middle with corridors to the main facilities is the main attraction of the present-day
college
 .
Whereas
 in the past it was a path connecting the second
college
 building to the library .
While the
Correct word choice
The
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 trees between the two
college
 buildings have been removed and the library occupies that area now .
Whereas
 ,the trees towards the road have been preserved with
an
Correct article usage
the
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 addition of
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
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 stop in the previous car park location . There is an addition of
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 centre and bike storage in the new
college
 by restructuring the previous location . The tree behind the old library is still there but now it is behind
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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 centre
Submitted by drcamt on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words college with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underwent significant changes
  • consisted of
  • large open space
  • utilized
  • relocated
  • limited facilities and amenities
  • wider range of facilities and amenities
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