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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the various stages required to produce coffee products from coffee beans.

The diagram below shows the various stages required to produce coffee products from coffee beans.
The diagram gives detailed information about the process by which
coffee
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 goods are manufactured from
coffee
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beans
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,the diagram makes it clear that there are several stages involved in the manufacture of
coffee
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 products, beginning with harvesting and ending with the purchase of ready products. Of particular note is the fact that
such
Linking Words
 advanced techniques as roasting and hulling are utilized in the process. Looking at the details, the procedure begins when farmers harvest
coffee
Use synonyms
beans
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. It is worth mentioning that the
mashine-driven
Correct your spelling
machine-driven
 jobs take up
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of the work in the process. It is followed by processing the commodities. After these
beans
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 are processed,they are permeated on the ground for drying by the sun for 24 to 72 hours. Before the
beans
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 are roasted for 10 to 20 minutes, they are hulled with special equipment. Having been packaged in paper or plastic bags, the ready
coffee
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 commodities
delivered
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are delivered
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 by a truck for the purchase of
coffee
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 products.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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