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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #manager #salaries #workers #company
At
workplace
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the workplace
show examples
, working on the highest salary is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
incredible for supervisors as compared to the other associates in a
company
.
This
 essay will discuss that not only
I
Add a missing verb
do I
show examples
believe that
this
 can be
prudent
Add an article
a prudent
show examples
 idea to worth the higher education of
management
 by giving them more
pays
Correct subject-verb agreement
pay
show examples
 but
also
this is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
appreciating working under burden and pressure at jobs.
To begin
 with, getting maximum wages by senior employees at
work
 can be lucrative for praising the value of their higher studies. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people do
post graduation
Add a hyphen
post-graduation
show examples
 for
earing
Correct your spelling
earning
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 amount of money in the future but
also
 folks
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to secure their financial expenses by studying hard. Despite
this
, managers positions are
offering
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 by
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 for people who have appropriate knowledge of
management
.
For instance
, individuals do MBD
for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
immense
Correct article usage
an immense
show examples
 amount of skills for working in a
company
 as senior manager and they deserve to get the benefits for
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 to get
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 position rather than working on
minimun
Correct your spelling
minimal
 or
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 payrolls like other workers.
Therefore
, senior
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 to achieve a fruitful life
while
 working on
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 salary.
Furthermore
,
immense
Add an article
an immense
the immense
show examples
 amount of
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
 and pressure on the
management
 team represent that they need more
pays
Fix the agreement mistake
pay
show examples
 than other associates.
Due to
this
, people can do
work
 more quickly because they
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 that
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 paying the value of their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that, not only
management
Add a missing verb
do management
show examples
 teams have to complete the
work
 production and provide training to newcomers but
also
 check the
work
 done by every single
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
show examples
.
In other words
, double
work
 has been done by the supervisor as compared to other workers because other employees only complete their
work
 and go home. Even though, managements have to look at everything properly without
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 errors.
Hence
,
this
 is
amazing
Add an article
an amazing
show examples
 thing for managers to get more pay.
To conclude
, working on higher pay rates is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
lucrative for
management
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs because they do plenty of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 during working hours
along with
 having a lot of knowledge and skills. As compared to other associates in a
company
this
 is
seniors
Change noun form
seniors'
senior's
show examples
 right to get more pay.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more comprehensively and in a clearer manner.
task achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are well-supported with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically to enhance readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and your main points are clearly linked.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion.
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