IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Employment rates, education and averange anuual income, 2015: Country, Employment rate, Average income

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Employment rates, education and averange anuual income, 2015: Country, Employment rate, Average income
#minutes #employment #education #statistics #eight #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons #rates #averange #income #country #rate
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The graphic represents the mean wages of 7 cities in the UK .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it gives information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
samples
Use synonyms
 in each group
overall
Linking Words
 ,the chart gives the
number
Use synonyms
 of
samples
Use synonyms
 per city and the average salaries in that city .
In addition
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
there is a difference of around 8000 pounds between the highest and lowest paid towns .
According to
Linking Words
data
Add a comma
data,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
samples
Use synonyms
 in the top paid location is more than 10 times of others
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
London , England has the highest pay of 33,634 from 50951
samples
Use synonyms
 .
whereas
Linking Words
 Cambridge England is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 29,854 pounds,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
samples
Use synonyms
 there is the least at 2180 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 Bristol
as well as
Linking Words
 Edinburgh
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 almost similar wages .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,Manchester and Glasgow share almost at par salaries meanwhile, Glasgow
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 slightly more .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Birmingham has
more
Fix the agreement mistake
a larger
show examples
 sample size than Edinburgh and Cambridge but the wages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 at the lowest among the 7 cities at 25,531 pounds only . The sample size though 2949
Submitted by drcamt on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, samples with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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