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Children are getting more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
Children today face increasing pressures from academic, social and commercial sources. The main cause of
this
 issue is the high expectations set by
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 and
parents
.
However
, the reliable solution would be promoting a balanced approach to education, emphasizing the importance of well-being over academic success. The major justification
of
Change preposition
for
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 facing
with
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apply
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academic pressure is the superior
waitings
Fix the agreement mistake
waiting
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 of the relatives and tutors. The competitive nature of education systems forces youngsters to perform well in exams to secure a bright future.
Additionally
, the abundance of extracurricular activities and the need to excel in multiple areas
further
 intensifies the pressure.
For instance
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of Education mentioned that many
parents
 of Kazakhstan , approximately 60-70% expect their offspring to achieve top grades and get into prestigious universities, often comparing them to their peers or siblings. To reduce these pressures,
centre
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the centre
a centre
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 of learning and family should advocate for a balanced educational approach, prioritizing well-being over academic achievement. It means that
juvenile's
Correct article usage
the juvenile's
show examples
 brain should relax from the tasks and from the pressure and
parents
 have to support their kid's opinion.
For example
, schools can implement policies that limit homework and encourage more creative activities, which help reduce academic stress.
Parents
 should foster an open dialogue with their teenagers, allowing them to express their concerns and providing emotional support. In conclusion, the primary reason
of
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for
show examples
 the problem is the great hopes established by the academy and
parents
 but by implementing these measures,
such
 as balancing academic demands and fostering open communication, the pressures on adolescents from academic, social, and commercial sources can be significantly reduced
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Clarify the link between high expectations and academic pressure in the introduction for a stronger thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of the essay by improving transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which framed the essay well.
supported main points
You included relevant statistics from reputable sources to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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