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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #information #features #comparisons
The charts illustrate how
energy
 is used and the
greenhouse
gas
emissions
 in an average Australian household.
Overall
, the proportion of
energy
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for heating is highest in both charts, with water heating contributing significantly to
greenhouse
gas
emissions
.
In addition
, the
figure
 for cooling
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the least in use,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 lower
greenhouse
gas
emissions
. In both
chart
Change to a plural noun
charts
show examples
, it is surprising that heating accounts for approximately 40% but contributes only 15% of the
greenhouse
gas
emissions
. The
figure
 for water heating consumption is 30% in use but
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to 32% of
greenhouse
gas
emissions
, which is a substantial amount. Following
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 unspecified electric appliances, utilizing about 15% of the
energy
while
 contributing to the environment
almost
Change preposition
with almost
show examples
 30% of
greenhouse
gas
emissions
. By
constract
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the
figure
 for refrigeration and lighting is only 7% and 4%, respectively, which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 about accurately double the percentage of
greenhouse
gas
emissions
.
Besides
, cooling, which contributes just about 2% to the total
energy
,
also
 has the lowest effect on
greenhouse
gas
emissions
.
Although
 the
figure
 for cooling provides low
energy
 consumption, it still has a higher proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
emissions
 than the
energy
 it utilizes.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼

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