IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate how
energy
Use synonyms
 is used and the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in an average Australian household.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for heating is highest in both charts, with water heating contributing significantly to
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for cooling
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the least in use,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 lower
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. In both
chart
Change to a plural noun
charts
show examples
, it is surprising that heating accounts for approximately 40% but contributes only 15% of the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for water heating consumption is 30% in use but
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to 32% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
, which is a substantial amount. Following
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 unspecified electric appliances, utilizing about 15% of the
energy
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 contributing to the environment
almost
Change preposition
with almost
show examples
 30% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. By
constract
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for refrigeration and lighting is only 7% and 4%, respectively, which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 about accurately double the percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, cooling, which contributes just about 2% to the total
energy
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 has the lowest effect on
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for cooling provides low
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption, it still has a higher proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
emissions
Use synonyms
 than the
energy
Use synonyms
 it utilizes.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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