The advent of the internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement. Share personal examples in your essay.

The internet plays an important role in our modern life.
This
advanced technology made it possible for workers to do
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
for international companies remotely.
This
advancement has brought more benefits
as well as
some demerits that will be discussed in
this
essay with my own examples.
This
arrival of the internet brings more benefits to both employers and employees. The most obvious benefit is that any employer can access skilled employees from overseas who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the perfect fit for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
position they are looking for.
For instance
, more than 70% of the IT sectors are hiring their workers out of the country which allows them to
work
from home. At the same time,
this
saves their time which allows the overseas labourers to
work
for multiple companies that give ultimate benefits for both the owners and their associates.
However
,
this
improvement in cyberspace made so many people lazy and introverted
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
affecting their social interactions with people in conversations.
For instance
, a good friend of mine got a great opportunity to
work
for a multinational company from his home
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
made him concentrate more on
work
than leading a social life, which made him feel alone.
Finally
, the net has brought many mental health issues to an individual who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
alone in a private space
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their desired location. In Conclusion, even
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the positive side will help in improving the company's finances by selecting talented workers and allowing the public to do multiple tasks.
Besides
that on the negative side, I can see that it makes the person more introverted and affects the person's mental health.
Therefore
, the advancement of the net that pulled people to do remote
work
has both advantages and disadvantages.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the examples provided to make them more specific and relevant. Also, try to balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly; you could add more points to each side.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking words more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. For instance, using transitions like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'consequently' can help enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
complete response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing contains relevant points, and the ideas are clearly presented.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: