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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided line graph illustrates the
percentage
 of the crowd for
people
 who are more than 65
years
 old in three various countries in a century. A glance at the graph reveals that the
population
 of Sweden have had a
fluctuation
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 upward
trend
.
However
,the crowd of
people
 has witnessed dramatic changes over the period. In 1940,the proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 who were 65
years
 old or
more
Correct word choice
older
show examples
 was %7 in Sweden.After that,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a fluctuation upward
trend
 from 1940 to 2024.
Then
,the
percentage
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 will have reached precisely %25 in Sweden by 2040.
Moreover
,the proportion o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
 aged more than 65
years
 old was nearly %9 in the United States of America in 1940.Next,the number o
f cro
Change to a plural noun
crowds
show examples
wd for
people
 more than 65
years
 old has increased moderately until 2024.
At the end
 of the
trend
,the
percentage
 o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
 will have hi
t t
Correct article usage
a
show examples
he peak at %23 in the US by 2040.
In contrast
,the proportion of
people
 who were more than 65
years
 old was only %5 in
Japan
 in 1940.(Which was the least
percentage
 o
Correct article usage
the eldery
show examples
f elde
Correct your spelling
elderly
ry
population
 over the period).For the next few decades,the number o
f ol
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
d
people
 in ages over 65
years
 old declined slightly in
Japan
.Afterwards,
this
trend
 will have risen modestly in
Japan
 until approximately 2030.
Finally
,the
percentage
 o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
 over 65
years
 old will rocket in
Japan
 from 2030 to 2040.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, years, population, trend, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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