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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided line graph illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the crowd for
people
Use synonyms
 who are more than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old in three various countries in a century. A glance at the graph reveals that the
population
Use synonyms
 of Sweden have had a
fluctuation
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 upward
trend
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the crowd of
people
Use synonyms
 has witnessed dramatic changes over the period. In 1940,the proportion of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who were 65
years
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 old or
more
Correct word choice
older
show examples
 was %7 in Sweden.After that,
Use synonyms
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a fluctuation upward
trend
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 from 1940 to 2024.
Then
Linking Words
,the
percentage
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 of
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population
Add an article
the population
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 will have reached precisely %25 in Sweden by 2040.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the proportion o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 aged more than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old was nearly %9 in the United States of America in 1940.Next,the number o
f cro
Change to a plural noun
crowds
show examples
wd for
people
Use synonyms
 more than 65
years
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 old has increased moderately until 2024.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
trend
Use synonyms
,the
percentage
Use synonyms
 o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 will have hi
t t
Correct article usage
a
show examples
he peak at %23 in the US by 2040.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the proportion of
people
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 who were more than 65
years
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 old was only %5 in
Japan
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 in 1940.(Which was the least
percentage
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 o
Correct article usage
the eldery
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f elde
Correct your spelling
elderly
ry
population
Use synonyms
 over the period).For the next few decades,the number o
f ol
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
d
people
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 in ages over 65
years
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 old declined slightly in
Japan
Use synonyms
.Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 will have risen modestly in
Japan
Use synonyms
 until approximately 2030.
Finally
Linking Words
,the
percentage
Use synonyms
 o
f
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 over 65
years
Use synonyms
 old will rocket in
Japan
Use synonyms
 from 2030 to 2040.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, years, population, trend, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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