Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and your opinion.

#people #sports #effect #child’s #education

In recent times,

sports

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

are among

equipped

Verb problem

the best

show examples

in the high school curriculum. There is a growing belief that competitive

sports

enage

Correct your spelling

engage

in providing a profound impact on the child's education,

while

others

are

Verb problem

show examples

not support

this

idea. I would argue that

sports

contests have pros and cons.

This

essay will examine the argument. First and foremost,

sports

play a crucial role contributing in

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

educational system. Football league,

for instance

, in the USA high school, government have placed sport time, twice per week as they believe that physical activities can improve students' physical health and mental resilience.

Due to

numerous activities have been involved during the training session.

Therefore

, they can learn how to

exacerbate

Verb problem

improve

show examples

their health to be better, self-control, and well-being

while

they are playing

sports

On the other hand

, there is the

contrast

Replace the word

contrasting

show examples

idea

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

physical games can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative impacts on their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

studies. In some cases, children cannot control their

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

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while

they

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

falling

Change preposition

into

show examples

a particular competition.

This

, in

turns

Fix the agreement mistake

turn

show examples

diminishing

Wrong verb form

diminishes

show examples

the academic

persuit

Correct your spelling

pursuit

pursuits

. Some

ends

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end

show examples

up not going to school since they are

embarrassing

Replace the word

embarrassed

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their classmates

due to

their failure.

Furthermore

, those who aim to get the winner will fall apart and lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

depression.

Consequently

, some parents

are

Verb problem

show examples

not allow their kids to play

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, and

focusing

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

only studies. In conclusion,

sports

competitions

carry out

Verb problem

have

show examples

pros and cons.

Although

there are several negative aspects,

such

as they will be reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

study motivation, and

possessing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mental issues, I firmly believe that the

positivie

Correct your spelling

positive

impact of

sports

can help children

enable

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to have health stronger and

psychologically

Change the word

psychological

show examples

resilience.

Submitted by Date on Wed Jul 24 2024

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grammar vocabulary

Work on grammatical accuracy and lexicon development. Some errors and awkward phrases detract from clarity and comprehension.

examples

Include more detailed examples to support your arguments for a stronger task achievement score. Specific examples help illustrate your points more clearly.

structure

Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph effectively develops a main point. Transition smoothly between ideas for better coherence.

task response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a well-rounded discussion.

examples

The use of an example (the football league in the USA) helps to illustrate your point about the benefits of physical activities.

structure

The presence of an introduction and conclusion contributes to overall cohesion and helps frame the essay effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowsadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In some countries,the gap between rich and poor is widening. What problems does this create? What measures can be taken to address this issue?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss bth views and give your opinion.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.