New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
Technologies have changed from
time
to Use synonyms
time
; in Use synonyms
curremt
days technologies have taken Correct your spelling
current
very
advanced and fundamental place in the globe. Correct article usage
a very
New
generation Correct article usage
The new
specially
children spend their leisure Replace the word
especially
time
Use synonyms
on
learning new things orChange preposition
apply
to dicover
solutions Verb problem
apply
of
problems, and some of them use it to play games Change preposition
to
on
their free Change preposition
in
time
. Today I am going Use synonyms
explain
and give examples, Fix the infinitive
to explain
why
the advantages of Change preposition
of why
this
outweigh Linking Words
disadvantages
.
First of all, the advantages of Correct article usage
the disadvantages
optaining
new Correct your spelling
obtaining
technology
Use synonyms
is
very important in daily life. Change the verb form
are
Furthermore
, most Linking Words
people
use the new Use synonyms
technology
to make life easier. Use synonyms
For example
, if you want to buy do grocery you can order Linking Words
it
by clicking on one Correct pronoun usage
them
botton
only, Correct your spelling
button
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
planty
of Correct your spelling
plenty
time
. Use synonyms
In other
Linking Words
words
you can do shopping onlineAdd a comma
words,
,
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apply
while
sitting at home. Second Linking Words
of
all, most Change preposition
apply
people
use Use synonyms
technology
for educational Use synonyms
purpose
, Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
For instance
, the government Linking Words
place
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placed
new
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a new
rule
to avoid spending Fix the agreement mistake
rules
Change preposition
on papers
papers
, Fix the agreement mistake
paper
for
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and for
these reason
the Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
provided
computers and laptops to Wrong verb form
provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
school
,colleges and universities.Fix the agreement mistake
schools
IOn
the other hand there are some disadvantages of Correct your spelling
On
techologies
, where many Correct your spelling
technology
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
brain
getting divert Fix the agreement mistake
brains
to
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
a negitive
negitive
way, and paying lack Correct your spelling
negative
of
attention Change preposition
apply
of
their studies.
Change preposition
to
Moreover
, the advantages Linking Words
outeigh
the disadvantages becauseCorrect your spelling
outweigh
,
it Remove the comma
apply
have
many privileges. Change the verb form
has
In addition
, nowadays, the studies are exorbitant; and many Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
cant
pay the education fees. Correct your spelling
can't
Such
as, now anyone can educate him or Linking Words
her self
by learning online with the Correct your spelling
herself
technology
.
In conclusion, as per my Use synonyms
knowlege
and Correct your spelling
knowledge
experiance
; there are many Correct your spelling
experience
people
Use synonyms
love
to learn and gain new information, and Correct pronoun usage
who love
the
new Correct article usage
apply
technology
made that possible today. The huge companies Use synonyms
gives
Change the verb form
give
apportunities
to those who Correct your spelling
opportunities
knew
about Wrong verb form
know
technology
.Use synonyms
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grammar and spelling
Work on eliminating grammatical and spelling errors such as, 'curremt', 'dicover', 'In conclusion, as per my knowlege and experiance; there are many people love to learn and gain new information, and the new technology made that possible today.', 'negitive', 'outeigh'. Enhanced sentence construction will lead to more coherence.
examples
There is a need to expand on relevant specific examples. Most points remain general and aren't supported by detailed examples. Adding more specific examples can make your arguments more persuasive.
structure
Try to make your logical structure smoother and more coherent. The flow of your ideas is somewhat fragmented. Ensure that one idea naturally leads into the next, and avoid abrupt shifts in topics.
conclusion
Your conclusion is present but could be stronger. Make sure it succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay and reinforces the idea that the advantages of new technologies outweigh the disadvantages.
stance
You have provided a clear stance that the advantages of new technologies outweigh the disadvantages, which delivers a complete response to the essay prompt.
points
You've touched on significant points like educational benefits, time-saving aspects, and online shopping convenience, which are relevant to the discussion.