Being a celebrity such a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
In many
population
, some girls and boys want to be a Change to a plural noun
populations
star
or celebrity
in their countries. A celebrity
is a person ho
is famous in different Correct your spelling
who
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
such
film or sports star
. Then
, some people
suggest that Being a celebrity
brings problems. For others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
, it
exist Correct pronoun usage
there
much
benefits to become Change the quantifier
many
star
in the Add an article
a star
country
. In my opinion, to be
a Change the verb form
being
celebrity
causes benefits and problems in
the same time.
In Change preposition
at
this
context, it is beneficial to be a star
in your country
for these reasons. Firstly
, a star
influences the other member
in the same Fix the agreement mistake
members
country
and helps them to be more active in the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Such
many sport
Change the noun form
sports
stars
orient
Verb problem
encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to help other poor people
in the same country
and suggest the
Correct article usage
apply
way
to realise Fix the agreement mistake
ways
this
.
Secondly
, the star
is a way
to help the
commercial and Correct article usage
apply
indistrual
companies to buy their Correct your spelling
industrial
products
and services. Also
, this
help is a source of revenue to
the Change preposition
for
star
. These companies pays
much Money to Change the verb form
pay
this
star
for
become a source of advertising for their Change preposition
to
products
and services. Such many
company pays Correct word choice
Many
to
a famous pop music Change preposition
apply
star
for
use their Change preposition
to
products
and advice
these Replace the word
advise
products
to customers. The pop music star
SHAKIRA suggest
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggests
to
Change preposition
apply
dring
Coca Cola.
Verb problem
driving
However
, being a celebrity
brings problems. Indeed, same
criminal Correct article usage
the same
personnes
kill these Correct your spelling
people
stars
for having their money such
many crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
is
about Correct subject-verb agreement
are
stars
. Besides
, the star
will not have the freedom to live with
her own Change preposition
in
way
. Such
celebrity
RONALDO visit the market stores or restaurants with bodyguard
.
In sum, the life of Fix the agreement mistake
bodyguards
stars
is dangerous and fabulous in
the same time.Change preposition
at
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grammar
Try to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos. For instance, 'ho' should be 'who' and 'it exist much benefits' should be 'there exist many benefits.'
coherence
Improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will help the reader follow your argument more easily. You can use linking words like 'therefore,' 'furthermore,' and 'moreover.'
task response
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. For instance, instead of just mentioning Shakira and Coca-Cola, you could provide examples from various fields, like acting or politics.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.
task response
The examples provided, such as Shakira endorsing Coca-Cola and Ronaldo needing bodyguards, are relevant to the topic.
task response
The essay addresses both benefits and problems of being a celebrity, showcasing a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.