Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Nowadays, Some individuals believe that
History
is more vital than other lessons
while
other
people
say that
Technology
and
Science
lessons are way more significant than
History
in today's world. In
this
essay I am going to discuss both perspectives and
also
I
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
Science
and
Tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
subjects
are more crucial than
History
right now. On the one hand,
History
is
such
an important subject. Studying
history
makes
people
more sensitive to social movements and helps them understand the consequences of past events.
For instance
, If a person knows about old rebellions, revolutions and their results they might be more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
what is going to happen next or what they going to get
at the end
.
Therefore
,
History
makes
people
more sensitive about social movements and learning lessons about great
people
's
fails
Replace the word
failures
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
Subjects
such
as
Science
and
Technology
are more relevant and beneficial for
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Scientific and Technological developments make
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
easier, healthier, quicker and
modernize
Wrong verb form
modernised
show examples
.
For example
,
improvements
Change preposition
with improvements
show examples
in
technology
people
invented
electiricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
,
wheel
Change the article
the wheel
show examples
and some uncountable products which make
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
quicker, easier and
modernize
Wrong verb form
modernised
show examples
.
Spesifically
Correct your spelling
Specifically
, if some
people
want to text their friend they have to write a letter,
then
take it to
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
office, post it and
wait
Add the preposition
wait for
show examples
their friend's response.
However
,
Due to
technological advances,
people
can now send a text message instantly with just a click of a button without
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
Furthermore
, new advances in
Science
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
people
more healthier. In today's world, so many vital
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
have vaccines .
Hence
,
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
in
Science
and
Technology
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
life
easier and healthier than ever. In conclusion, some think that
History
is one of the most significant school
lesson
Change to a plural noun
lessons
show examples
.
By contrast
, others argue that
Science
and
Technology
subjects
are more critical than
History
and
also
I believe that
Science
and
Technology
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more important because developments in these
subjects
are more beneficial to
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
than
history
. It makes
life
healthier, faster, easier and
contemporary
Correct quantifier usage
more contemporary
show examples
.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain consistency and clarity throughout the essay. Some parts, such as the second paragraph, could be more cohesive and clearly linked to your opinion.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Simple mistakes, for instance in subject-verb agreement and capitalization, can detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and repetition. For example, instead of saying 'makes life easier, healthier, quicker, and modernize,' you can say 'improve quality of life significantly.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are thoughtfully written, clearly presenting both viewpoints and stating your own opinion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your discussion, such as advances in technology making communication quicker and medical advances making people healthier.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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