Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Nowadays, Some individuals believe that
History
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is more vital than other lessons
while
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other
people
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say that
Technology
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and
Science
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lessons are way more significant than
History
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in today's world. In
this
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essay I am going to discuss both perspectives and
also
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I
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
Science
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and
Tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
subjects
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are more crucial than
History
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right now. On the one hand,
History
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is
such
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an important subject. Studying
history
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makes
people
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more sensitive to social movements and helps them understand the consequences of past events.
For instance
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, If a person knows about old rebellions, revolutions and their results they might be more aware
about
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of
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what is going to happen next or what they going to get
at the end
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.
Therefore
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,
History
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makes
people
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more sensitive about social movements and learning lessons about great
people
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's
fails
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failures
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.
On the other hand
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,
Subjects
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such
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as
Science
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and
Technology
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are more relevant and beneficial for
people
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's
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life
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lives
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. Scientific and Technological developments make
people
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's
live
Replace the word
lives
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easier, healthier, quicker and
modernize
Wrong verb form
modernised
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.
For example
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,
improvements
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with improvements
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in
technology
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people
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invented
electiricity
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electricity
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
wheel
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the wheel
show examples
and some uncountable products which make
world
Add an article
the world
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more
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apply
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quicker, easier and
modernize
Wrong verb form
modernised
show examples
.
Spesifically
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Specifically
, if some
people
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want to text their friend they have to write a letter,
then
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take it to
post
Correct article usage
the post
show examples
office, post it and
wait
Add the preposition
wait for
show examples
their friend's response.
However
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,
Due to
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technological advances,
people
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can now send a text message instantly with just a click of a button without
efforts
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effort
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.
Furthermore
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, new advances in
Science
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makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
people
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more healthier. In today's world, so many vital
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
have vaccines .
Hence
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,
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
in
Science
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and
Technology
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
life
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easier and healthier than ever. In conclusion, some think that
History
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is one of the most significant school
lesson
Change to a plural noun
lessons
show examples
.
By contrast
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, others argue that
Science
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and
Technology
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subjects
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are more critical than
History
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and
also
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I believe that
Science
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and
Technology
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more important because developments in these
subjects
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are more beneficial to
people
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's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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than
history
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. It makes
life
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healthier, faster, easier and
contemporary
Correct quantifier usage
more contemporary
show examples
.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain consistency and clarity throughout the essay. Some parts, such as the second paragraph, could be more cohesive and clearly linked to your opinion.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Simple mistakes, for instance in subject-verb agreement and capitalization, can detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and repetition. For example, instead of saying 'makes life easier, healthier, quicker, and modernize,' you can say 'improve quality of life significantly.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are thoughtfully written, clearly presenting both viewpoints and stating your own opinion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your discussion, such as advances in technology making communication quicker and medical advances making people healthier.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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