Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology

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Nowadays, Some individuals believe that

History

Use synonyms

is more vital than other lessons

while

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other

people

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say that

Technology

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and

Science

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lessons are way more significant than

History

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in today's world. In

this

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essay I am going to discuss both perspectives and

also

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argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that

Science

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and

Tecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

subjects

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are more crucial than

History

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right now. On the one hand,

History

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such

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an important subject. Studying

history

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makes

people

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more sensitive to social movements and helps them understand the consequences of past events.

For instance

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, If a person knows about old rebellions, revolutions and their results they might be more aware

about

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what is going to happen next or what they going to get

at the end

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Therefore

Linking Words

History

Use synonyms

makes

people

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more sensitive about social movements and learning lessons about great

people

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fails

Replace the word

failures

show examples

On the other hand

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Subjects

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such

Linking Words

Science

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and

Technology

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are more relevant and beneficial for

people

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. Scientific and Technological developments make

people

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live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

easier, healthier, quicker and

modernize

Wrong verb form

modernised

show examples

For example

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improvements

Change preposition

with improvements

show examples

technology

Use synonyms

people

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invented

electiricity

Correct your spelling

electricity

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

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wheel

Change the article

the wheel

show examples

and some uncountable products which make

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

Change the word

apply

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quicker, easier and

modernize

Wrong verb form

modernised

show examples

Spesifically

Correct your spelling

Specifically

, if some

people

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want to text their friend they have to write a letter,

then

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take it to

post

Correct article usage

the post

show examples

office, post it and

wait

Add the preposition

wait for

show examples

their friend's response.

However

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Due to

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technological advances,

people

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can now send a text message instantly with just a click of a button without

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Furthermore

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, new advances in

Science

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makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

people

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more healthier. In today's world, so many vital

ilnesses

Correct your spelling

illnesses

have vaccines .

Hence

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progresses

Correct subject-verb agreement

progress

show examples

Science

Use synonyms

and

Technology

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make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

life

Use synonyms

easier and healthier than ever. In conclusion, some think that

History

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is one of the most significant school

lesson

Change to a plural noun

lessons

show examples

By contrast

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, others argue that

Science

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and

Technology

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subjects

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are more critical than

History

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and

also

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I believe that

Science

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and

Technology

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

more important because developments in these

subjects

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are more beneficial to

people

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

than

history

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. It makes

life

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healthier, faster, easier and

contemporary

Correct quantifier usage

more contemporary

show examples

Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on Wed Jul 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure to maintain consistency and clarity throughout the essay. Some parts, such as the second paragraph, could be more cohesive and clearly linked to your opinion.

task achievement

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Simple mistakes, for instance in subject-verb agreement and capitalization, can detract from the overall quality of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Avoid redundancy and repetition. For example, instead of saying 'makes life easier, healthier, quicker, and modernize,' you can say 'improve quality of life significantly.'

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are thoughtfully written, clearly presenting both viewpoints and stating your own opinion.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your discussion, such as advances in technology making communication quicker and medical advances making people healthier.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
comprehend
retrospect
gain insights
reflect on
sharpen
evaluate
significance
heritage
legacy
advent
breakthroughs
sustain
sustainability
revolutions
empowered
overcome
transform
advancements
collaboration
cooperation
diversity
fulfilling
promote
facilitate
prosperity
enhance
foster
foundation

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