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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Compared to previous generations, an increasing number of people are traveling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

#generations #people #holidays #trend
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Many
people
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 claim that travelling abroad is pleasurable gratification which can provide a sense of personal growth and cultural enrichment.As a consequent tendency of
people
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 to take trips overseas is reinforced tremendously.I will support
this
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 view with arguments in the following paragraphs. From my point of view,when individuals explore new,unfamiliar surroundings they start to think outside of the box.
Furthermore
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,when
people
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 are exposed to new cultures,landscapes and experiences their minds are stimulated in a unique way.On top of that,travelling to a foreign country enhances creativity,flexibility and problem-solving skills.
Additionally
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,individuals can immerse themselves in diverse cuisines,history,art,languages,and traditions
as well as
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 broaden their horizons and own perspectives.Travelling abroad allows
people
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 have improve on mental health,boosts mood and ameliorates
overall
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 well-being
while
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 anxiety and stress
down
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are down
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.There are
also
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 huge benefits for countries
due to
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 receiving tourists there can be significant contributions to countries' economy,creation of new jobs,and improvements in infrastructure.
However
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,there are disadvantages for the environment ,which
associated
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are associated
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 with an increasing number of flights to different places around the world.Because of that,there can be diverse consequences like climate change or air pollution.
Besides
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, tourism in natural areas can damage ecosystems once and for all.Environmental degradation has long-term negative impacts on the biodiversity of the region.On top of that,popular tourist areas tend to be overcrowded,leading to permanent environmental degradation.
To sum up
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, travelling abroad is an incredible source of inspiration and excitement for individuals.Advances provided to consumers make up the majority in comparison with drawbacks.
As a consequence
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,positive ramifications tip the scales.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, but it requires more specific examples to enhance your arguments. Incorporating personal anecdotes or well-known instances could make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
There are some areas where the cohesion could be improved. For example, the use of transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs would make your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points more clearly, perhaps reiterating the key arguments in a concise manner. This will help tie the essay together and leave a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the arguments you will discuss in the essay, providing a good starting point.
task achievement
The points you make regarding the benefits of traveling abroad, such as cultural enrichment and personal growth, are well-articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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