The way that people work today has changed significantly due to the development of technology. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of these changes.
The prevalence of the
cutting-edge-
Correct your spelling
technology
technology
has caused a wide range of changes in the way of working, leading to the constant communication and sharing of knowledge across the world. This
transformation then
offers several opportunities to individuals for both personal and professional growth, while
it exerts the
significant influence on our society negatively. The advancement in Correct article usage
a
technology
fuels several shifts, thus
it is crucial to delve deeply into its benefits and drawbacks.
Firstly
, regarding to
advantages, individuals benefit from personal and professional development with high numbers of chances to work with overseas companies. The environment to work with workers from different backgrounds online, thanks to the high advancement in Remove the preposition
apply
technology
, help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
acquire various abilities such
as communication and problem-solving skills, along with
broadening their perspective and understanding about
the world. Change preposition
of
For example
, according to
a
research conducted by a Korean Correct article usage
apply
insititution
, Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
people
has
become more appreciative of diversity and embraced the differences in cultures compared to those 10 years ago. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
This
result clearly demonstrates the impact of advanced technology
on individuals’ overall
growth.
On the other hand
, this
trend make
Change the verb form
makes
people
who cannot acquire digital literacy and the accessibility of Internet
be isolated significantly. The ability to Correct article usage
the Internet
obtaining
those gives rise to a huge gulf among Wrong verb form
obtain
people
, leading to the disparity in the
knowledge and wealth. Correct article usage
apply
According to
the same research, the gap of
Change preposition
in
the
income between Correct article usage
apply
people
who have this
ability and those who don’t have,
has sharply increased to 30% in 2019. Remove the comma
apply
This
shows that the development of technology
accelerated immerse
inequality among Correct word choice
apply
people
.
In conclusion, while
the advance of technology
leads to numerous advantages for our growth, it also
causes notable
gap between Add an article
a notable
the notable
people
who can keep up with this
change or
notCorrect word choice
and
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main point clearly. This will improve the logical structure and make your argumentation stronger.
task achievement
Double-check grammatical structures and vocabulary usage to avoid small errors that might distract the reader.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for discussing both advantages and disadvantages. Well done!
relevant specific examples
You have used a relevant specific example to support your points. This enhances the credibility of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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