IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below illustrates the process where bricks are made for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The diagram below illustrates the process where bricks are made for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below illustrates the process where bricks are made for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The diagram below illustrates the process where bricks are made for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The process diagram elaborates
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 steps in the preparation of
clay
Use synonyms
bricks
Use synonyms
 at the industrial level.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total process involves seven steps, starting from the
clay
Use synonyms
 ( key material ) until the newly prepared
bricks
Use synonyms
 are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
distributed among the customers.
First,
Linking Words
the key ingredient, the
clay
Use synonyms
 is digged by large diggers .
Secondly
Linking Words
, those large
clay
Use synonyms
 chunks are crushed by rollers and a metal grid.
Then
Linking Words
, the fine
clay
Use synonyms
 particles are mixed with sand and water, before they are being
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
show examples
 by the use of moulds manually, or by wire cutters mechanically. After those wet raw
bricks
Use synonyms
 are dried inside drying ovens for about 1 to 2 days,
the next step is
Linking Words
 started.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
the next step
Linking Words
is occurred
Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
show examples
 inside the kiln which has three steps.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are moderately heated in
200
Correct article usage
the 200
show examples
celcius
Change the capitalization
Celcius
show examples
 to 980
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 range. After that, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are exposed to the high temperature of around 870
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 to 2300
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 and
there-after
Correct your spelling
thereafter
show examples
 they are directed to the cooling chamber where they are chilled for about 2 to 3 days.
Finally
Linking Words
, the baked
bricks
Use synonyms
 are packed nicely and delivered to the customers by using large lorries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "the next step is".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words clay, bricks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: