IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart gives
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about the change in the
number
Use synonyms
 of adult participants in various
sports
Use synonyms
 in a particular region
from1997
Correct your spelling
from 1997
 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, there has been a significant surge in the amount of individuals playing basketball, football and rugby,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 the amount of ones
played
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 cricket has dramatically declined after two decades. Tennis participants showed
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increase, but it had the highest
participants
Correct quantifier usage
number of participants
show examples
 among all
sports
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 years; 1997 and 2017. In 1997, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
adults
Use synonyms
 playing basketball was the least among the major
sports
Use synonyms
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 area.
However
Linking Words
, after two decades, a dramatic climb in their
number
Use synonyms
 to around 22,000
players
Use synonyms
 was seen. Other
sports
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 rocketed as well
such
Linking Words
 as football and rugby, in which
number
Use synonyms
 of the
players
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 games was almost the same in 1997, which counted for a little higher than 30 thousand
adults
Use synonyms
.
Both
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 showed a similar rate of increase reaching a
number
Use synonyms
 of slightly lower than 50 thousands. Tennis
players
Use synonyms
 were the highest in
both
Use synonyms
 years, yet showed a slight increase from 50 to 55 thousand
players
Use synonyms
. There was a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 drop in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
adults
Use synonyms
participated
Correct pronoun usage
who participated
show examples
 in cricket from 26000 to less than 10,000
adults
Use synonyms
. No significant
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 were noticed in the rest of the
sports
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, sports, both, adults, players with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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