The images below explains the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain. summarise the information by selecting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The process below illustrates how pollutants in modern society transform into
an
acid rain which Correct article usage
apply
is
have impact on Verb problem
has
environment
and affects Add an article
the environment
on
the food chain.
Change preposition
apply
Overall
, there are ten series of steps, starting how
pollutants enter Change preposition
with how
food
chain, starting with harmful chemicals rising to Add an article
the food
clouds
, to the spoiling of the circle of life.
To begin
with, harmful substances such
as carbon dioxide, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury and others, which are released by housing, transport, factories, power
stations, Correct word choice
and power
rises
to Correct subject-verb agreement
rise
clouds
. As a result
, clouds
absorb these compounds, after
that, polluted Correct word choice
and after
clouds
cross over the atmosphere creating an
acid rain falls.
Correct article usage
apply
Following
this
, rainfall pours down on hills and fields, plants, and rivers. In turn, lakes that are associated with rivers are polluted heavily. Finally
, the crops that consume the water from lakes and rivers and plant
that Fix the agreement mistake
plants
grows
on fields and hills are infected as pollutants enter the food chain.Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Ensure that each step in the process is clearly explained. Some steps are a bit vague and could use more detail.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring the essay to make the progression of ideas more logical. For example, mention the pollutants first before discussing how they affect the environment and food chain.
coherence cohesion
One way to improve coherence is to use linking words/phrases more effectively. This helps guide the reader through your explanation.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of how pollutants lead to acid rain and the subsequent environmental impact. This demonstrates a good understanding of the process.
coherence cohesion
The structure follows a logical sequence, which helps the reader understand the series of events. However, a more distinct introduction and conclusion could enhance this further.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with relevant examples, like the mention of specific pollutants (e.g., carbon dioxide, sulphur dioxide). This shows a good grasp of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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