IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The figure shows the
selling
Replace the word
sales
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 of two different countries on several products in a specific year.
Overall
Linking Words
, cars produced the greatest value in both France and the UK,
while
Linking Words
cameras
Use synonyms
 and perfume performed the worst respectively. Among these products,
cameras
Use synonyms
 had the largest
difference
Use synonyms
;
while
Linking Words
 computers had the smallest. Selling cars
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the most profitable
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
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 in these two countries, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in France, and around 450,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the UK. As for the least,
cameras
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 and perfume got about 150,000 and 140,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, let's look at the biggest
difference
Use synonyms
 between these two places, which is in the category of
cameras
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. From the bar chart, we can
obtain
Verb problem
see
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 that the UK got more money from
camera
Correct article usage
the camera
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 industry than France, with a
difference
Use synonyms
 of roughly 200,000
pounds
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. As for the smallest, it falls into the category of computers, with a slight
difference
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 of around 30,000
pounds
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cameras, difference, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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