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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some scientists believe intelligent life forms may exist in other planets and some want to send messages to the space to contact with these life forms. But other scientists believe it is a bad idea and it could be dangerous discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

#scientists #life #forms #planets #want #messages #space #contact #idea
Have you ever thought about
creauters
Correct your spelling
creatures
 in other plants?
well
Capitalize word
Well
show examples
,some scientists believe that there are some intelligent
life
forms
 so they want to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them by sending messages to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
while
 others see that may be dangerous.In my opinion,I see
contacting
Replace the word
contact
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 with these
life
forms
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 good and useful. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 people who see that intelligent
life
forms
 may exist
in
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on
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 other planets and we should contact with them have their own reasons.First of all,they see that contacting
with
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apply
show examples
them may give us information that can
helps
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help
show examples
 us to improve earth's facilities and some gadgets on it.
Moreover
,they believe that contacting
with
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apply
show examples
them may
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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 us to understand their language and that maybe can give
the
Correct pronoun usage
us the
show examples
cahnce
Correct your spelling
chance
 to trade with them and get financial profit and improve our
econome
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economy
.
Furthermore
,we will
know
Verb problem
learn
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 some information that
were
Change the verb form
was
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 hidden about their
palnts
Correct your spelling
plants
 and will enhance our
palnt
Correct your spelling
plant
 understanding.
On the other hand
,people who see it dangerous have their
won
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 reasons.
For example
,they see it
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
source of threat which can harm our
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
 because we don't know about the intelligent
life
forms
 if they are
peacfull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 or dangerous and it can boost to be a threat to
civilince
Correct your spelling
civilian
civilians
life
.
Finally
,intelligent
life
forms
 may not
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
 exist so looking for them may cost a huge amount of money without any
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 from it.
To conclude
 we can say that,intelligent
life
forms
 may exist and looking for them may
also
 give
Correct pronoun usage
us as
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of useful things so
Iam
Correct your spelling
I am
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking for them.
Submitted by yousefreyad55 on

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, work on ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand,' more consistently.
coherence and cohesion
Refine the introduction and conclusion paragraphs. A stronger introduction that better outlines the main points and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes and reinforces your stance will add strength to your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and detailed examples to bolster your arguments. Mention specific technologies, potential discoveries, or historical precedents where possible.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by refining your language. Phrases such as 'some gadgets on it' are vague. Be more specific on what those gadgets could be or how they might be improved by contact with extraterrestrial life.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You have made good use of paragraphs to separate different points and arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both viewpoints, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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