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Band 3

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #subjects #study
Children
 these days
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 given more freedom.
Severalpeople
Correct your spelling
Several people
arugmented
Correct your spelling
augmented
argument
 that their
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the right to choose their own
subjects
 that they are
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
. Somewhat, there are people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that for their
children
 to learn
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to study the general
subjects
 required
subsequently
 in life. Parents have different ways of raising their
children
 that influence them on how convenient they are in learning
ay
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 school.
Hence
, it will affect their choice and how they dig into
subjects
 or lessons they want to learn.
Likewise
, studies have shown that mental and social development in each child differs. From
this
 matter, there should be
a specialized
Correct the article-noun agreement
a specialized subject
specialized subjects
show examples
subjects
 set for these
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
children
.
On the other hand
, some stated that students must comply
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 required
subjects
 which will be helpful in the next level of their education. Some universities particularly those autonomously
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to meet the grade standard to enter
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 desired course. If that
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
, one student should go through given general education to acquire
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 future career in life. To summarize,
children
hasits
Correct your spelling
has its
 own development and way of learning so educating these people must provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
different but efficient education.
While
, in some cases, if there's
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to study the basic
subjects
, allow these
children
 to go through the process they need for their career in life.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy by using the correct subject-verb agreement, e.g., 'children have' instead of 'children has'.
elaboration
Expand on your main points by giving relevant examples and further explanation.
lexical variety
Try to paraphrase the topic using different words to show a range of vocabulary.
clarity
Organize paragraphs more clearly, making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea related to the topic.
task response
The essay discusses both views on the topic, which shows a balanced approach.
structure
An effort has been made to include an introduction and a conclusion, giving the essay a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivation and engagement
  • creativity and individual strengths
  • innovative thinking
  • neglecting essential disciplines
  • fundamental for basic education
  • well-rounded education
  • necessary tools to succeed
  • structured curriculum
  • educational standards and equality
  • foundational knowledge
  • explore their interests
  • essential knowledge
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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