IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.

#popularity #people #classroom #education #methods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals think that
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 education will become antiquated
due to
 the rise of virtual learning nowadays. The writer
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with the above statement. The essay will discuss
both
 advantages and disadvantages of
both
 virtual and
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 learning methods.
To begin
 with, the merits of
both
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 and virtual learning methods are, first of all with the advancement of technology virtual
classes
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 convenient nowadays. One could learn
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own free time
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere, anywhere and anytime. Another
point
 is less
cost effectiveness
Add a hyphen
cost-effectiveness
show examples
,
students
 can save enough money for other relevant resources
such
 as laptops, food and clothes for themselves from the daily transport fares to campus.
In contrast
,
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
classes
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 friendships among
students
 since they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 to know themselves in class. Another
point
 is
students
 get to know their tutors and offices
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 campus.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 enjoy campus
lifestyle
Change the noun form
lifestyles
show examples
such
 as sports, entertainment and others which expose one's talent. The demerits of
both
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 and virtual
classes
 are: first of
all
Add the comma(s)
all,
show examples
 network issues and instability. A country like Ghana has
unstable
Add an article
an unstable
show examples
 network which has become one of the challenges of online
classes
. Another
point
 is
cost
 of
shuttle
Add an article
the shuttle
a shuttle
show examples
 for
low -income
Correct your spelling
low-income
show examples
students
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 a major challenge for daily transport from various homes or
hostel's
Change noun form
hostels
show examples
 to class which sometimes makes most
students
 choose virtual
classes
.
In contrast
, at times there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unnecessary noise in various classrooms
such
 as
banging
Add an article
the banging
show examples
 of doors,
desk
Fix the agreement mistake
desks
show examples
 and chairs which
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
 ongoing
classes
. Some learners are distracted whenever there is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 slightest noise thereby leading to poor academic performance. Another
point
 is
non-availability
Correct article usage
the non-availability
show examples
 of enough classroom and learning materials
such
 as chairs and
desk
Fix the agreement mistake
desks
show examples
,
well ventilated
Add a hyphen
well-ventilated
show examples
 and spacious classrooms. Most institutions lack these materials, so it makes
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 learning a bit challenging for
both
students
 and tutors. In conclusion, the merits of
both
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 and virtual
classes
 are convenient, less
cost
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
,
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
show examples
 friendship and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
students
 opportunities to know their tutors.
Whereas
 the demerits of
both
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 and virtual
classes
 are network challenges,
cost
 of transport, unnecessary noise in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
show examples
,
non availability
Add a hyphen
non-availability
show examples
 of teaching and learning materials
Submitted by priscillaagyeiwaaboahen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your essay's clarity, consider using more transition phrases between ideas and sections. This will help the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Ensure each point made in the body paragraphs is well supported with relevant examples or detailed explanations. This can further illustrate the points you are making and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of online and traditional learning methods.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, highlighting the merits and demerits of both learning methods.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: