IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two charts compare the proportion of humans working in three categories (
agriculture
Use synonyms
,
industry
Use synonyms
 and services) among four countries (
Germany
Use synonyms
, United States, Japan, and
China
Use synonyms
) between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the distribution of
industry
Use synonyms
 was constantly the staple and few people took part in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 in all countries, except for
China
Use synonyms
 in both 1980 and 2010, where
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the mainstream. It is remarkable that the proportion of workers in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in
Germany
Use synonyms
 (5%), the United States (8%) and Japan (11%) in 1980;
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 the figures for the three communities all went down to 10%, especially
Germany
Use synonyms
 dwindled to nearly zero.
Then
Linking Words
 the rate of services
also
Linking Words
 declined to some extent across four lands, particularly in
China
Use synonyms
, where the rate decreased by around 30%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
centage
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of
industry
Use synonyms
 had risen
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
 20% across
Germany
Use synonyms
, the USA and Japan over the 30-year period (1980 to 2010).
In contrast
Linking Words
, the scale of
China
Use synonyms
 was different from the other three countries. The rate of
industry
Use synonyms
 remained stable at 40% from 1980 to 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, the figure for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 slumped significantly direction; compared to 1980 with 70%, in 2010, the proportion dropped to 50%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, germany, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • sector
  • distribution
  • dominance
  • decline
  • significant changes
  • employment
  • patterns
  • trends
  • global
  • compare
  • highlight
  • examine
  • identify
What to do next:
Look at other essays: