IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows energy is used in an average Australian households. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows energy is used in an average Australian households. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
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The first chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 data about used
energy
Use synonyms
 by households in Australia. The second one
is shows
Change the verb form
shows
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 how greenhouse gas emissions
is take
Change the verb form
is taken
is taking
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 from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Australian households use much of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 for
water-heating
Correct your spelling
water heating
show examples
 and heating for accommodation in the first char. Water heating and other appliances are required
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
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 majority of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 in the second
once
Correct your spelling
one
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. It is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
clear that in the first chart the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
energy
Use synonyms
, 42% is used for heating
furthermore
Linking Words
 the lowest 2%point of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 is taken by cooling. Other
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
required
Wrong verb form
require
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 15% of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
. 7% and 4% portion of
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 refrigeration and lighting by Australian households. Water heating
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 consume 32% of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
greenhouse
Fix the agreement mistake
greenhouses
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. Other appliances get 28%
energy
Use synonyms
 and refrigeration demand
2
Add a missing verb
is 2
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times less than other appliances. 15% point electricity directed to heating. Cooling
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 take
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 5 times less than heating. 8%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 is had by lighting.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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