In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax

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In some countries, numerous individuals are suffering

Use synonyms

health

Change preposition

from health

show examples

concerns because of consuming too much fast

food

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Hence

Linking Words

governments

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should impose a higher tax on

this

Linking Words

kind of

food

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. I completely agree that

this

Linking Words

is the best way to tackle the issue of obesity and many

health

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problems. What is more,

people

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do not care

themselves

Change preposition

about themselves

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

governments

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should solve

this

Linking Words

problem by increasing the tax on fast

food

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. Fast

food

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caused numerous

health

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difficulties in modern times,

Linking Words

for

Correct word choice

and for

show examples

this

Linking Words

reason

Add the comma(s)

reason,

show examples

governments

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started to increase some fast

food

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taxes

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. What is more, citizens may reduce eating too much

fasy

Correct your spelling

fast

food

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when their

governments

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collect high

taxes

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from them.

For instance

Linking Words

, China has been doing

this

Linking Words

and recent Chinese statistics

illustrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrate

show examples

us managing fast

food

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taxes

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and warning

people

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about fast

food

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are really useful. When

people

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cannot afford to buy something, they usually start to buy new reasonable things

instead

Linking Words

of expensive things. The reason is that

people

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should care

their

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for their

show examples

families and themselves, especially in

this

Linking Words

modern world because high inflation is everywhere in the world.

For example

Linking Words

, Turkey started to increase

cigarettes

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cigarette

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taxes

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20 years ago,

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consequently

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consequently,

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numerous

people

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started to quit smoking. If need an example of research on

this

Linking Words

topic, I would mention the study conducted by researchers of Queensland University from

international

Correct article usage

the international

show examples

relations department;

theyhave

Correct your spelling

they have

researched

this

Linking Words

Turkish policy, and they showed us that

this

Linking Words

worked reduce to

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

cigarette

Fix the agreement mistake

cigarettes

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in Turkey.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in the modern world many

governments

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prefer to collect high

taxes

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from

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show examples

fast

food

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because of public

health

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As I mentioned,

this

Linking Words

is useful for public

health

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hence

Linking Words

fast

food

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cause

Replace the word

causes

show examples

many

health

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problems and when

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

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cannot afford to buy these kinds of

food

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they start to buy different healthy things.

Submitted by burakinancerturac on Fri Jul 26 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, be sure to provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations for your points. Some of the ideas in the essay are not fully expanded or explained, which can make your argument less convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily. Make use of linking words and phrases to strengthen the connections within and between paragraphs.

general linguistic

Pay attention to small language inaccuracies (e.g., 'people do not care themselves' should be 'people do not care for themselves'). While they do not significantly impact your score, improving these errors can make your writing clearer and more professional.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to organize your ideas and present your argument effectively.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as the situation in China and Turkey, help to support your main points and provide context to your argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
health outcomes
healthcare costs
consumer behavior
socio-economic backgrounds
ethical implications
public health campaigns
subsidies
regulations
nutritional content
healthier food options
government intervention

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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. what are your opinion on this?

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.