In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #development #measures

In general, I

Correct your spelling

could

should

chould

Correct your spelling

could describe

discribe

Correct your spelling

describe

this

graph

Correct your spelling

which shows

show examples

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

dhows the production levels of

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000 and compare them At

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first,

I want to talk about

Petrolium

Correct your spelling

Petroleum

, as we can see the fuel in

this

graph started

produced

Add a missing verb

being produced

show examples

in 1981 and

then

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

was at the mark of less than 100 energy units

then

Petroleum increased and stopped in 1984, reaching the 140 mark

then

,in 1986 Petroleum dropped to 100 in 1990

then

this

fuel increased again to 140, and it reached its peak somewhere in 1999.

then

there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

in the graph

a coal

Remove the article

coal

a lump of coal

show examples

and it started way in 1981 when it was 80 energy units ,

then

it increased

little

Add an article

a little

show examples

bit and dropped in 1984 and became 40

thenit

Correct your spelling

then

increased to 60 and gradually decreased to a value of less than 40, so its own peak was at the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

this

way when it was 80.And the

last

one,

its

Correct your spelling

show examples

natural

gas

. we can see that the Natural

gas

long time was at 40 energy units from 1981 to 1990.

then

it gradually increased to 100 and

this

its

Add a missing verb

was its

show examples

peak. Now I want to compare

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

fuels.So, we can see that the

Petroeum

Correct your spelling

Petroleum

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

best of fuels at least in popularity it was the best

all time

Add a hyphen

all-time

show examples

from 1981 to 2000 ,in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place

maybe

a coal

Remove the article

coal

a lump of coal

show examples

but it was in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place

just from 1981 to

somwhere

Correct your spelling

somewhere

1991 and

then

it dropped to the third

place

Thats

Correct your spelling

That's

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural

gas

was in third

place

from 1981 to 1991,started

insrese

Correct your spelling

increase

and became

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place

Ans

Correct your spelling

show examples

we can

Correct your spelling

see

se that

Verb problem

see

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural

gas

has been increasing rapidly all

this

time and has been the best at it

Submitted by dulskywork on Fri Jul 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs. Start with an Introduction, followed by Body Paragraphs, and end with a Conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve sentence structure, ensuring that each sentence flows logically to the next. This will help your essay become more coherent.

task achievement

Ensure that you provide specific examples consistently throughout your essay to support your points. This can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to make sentences clearer. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence focuses on one main idea.

task achievement

The essay attempts to analyze the graph and describe the trends for different types of fuels, which shows an understanding of the task.

task achievement

You used specific details from the graph, such as years and energy units, to support your description and comparisons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Modernization
Homogenization
Globalization
Cultural practices
Economic pressures
Cultural heritage
Digital entertainment
Cultural organizations
Educational programs
Cultural tourism
Revitalize
Authentic cultural events
Traditional customs
Incorporating modern elements

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Advertising would introduce to people products that easier their lifestyle or does it just offer new things that may not need? It is a debate these days. I agree with the side of people who consider that ads, commercials on TV or written media provide items with the aim to help to improve people’s lives. This essay will discuss some viewpoints that support how helpful would be advertising.
<4
band
student should pay full cost for their own study because unoversity education benefits individuals rather than society .To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the digital era,some people believe that students need to pay full fees for their own studies because the potential advantage of university helps us improve detailed skills and also develops knowledge and grasp by education.
7.5
band
Many museums charge people for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, some museums charge visitors for admission while others are free. In my opinion, a small fee is the right option.
8
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people have the opinion that students of tertiary institutions should choose their field based on personal preference, whilst others argue that they should rather be encouraged to take up courses that would have more future benefits. In as much as it is easier and more fulfilling to be in one’s desired discipline, I believe it is of greater good to consider the possibility of a job opportunity in the long run.
6.5
band
Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
These days a number of people go shopping in their leisure time. it has been considered a hobby. It can lead to consequences. this essay will discuss some reasons for this case and the negative consequences that it can lead to.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

student should pay full cost for their own study because unoversity education benefits individuals rather than society .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge people for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?