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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #information #students #four #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 provides information about
students
Use synonyms
 studying in the
USA
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,
UK
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,
Australia
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 and
Canada
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 in the years 2004 and 2012. The table
chart
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 illustrates the proportion of total student numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first
chart
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, the highest number of
USA
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 abroad
students
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,
while
Linking Words
 the smallest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Canada
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the second
chart
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, the bigger proportion of
Australia
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest proportion
USA
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. In terms of, in the
USA
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, 180 foreign
students
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 in 2004, compared to the
UK
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 made up 120, in
Australia
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 130
this
Linking Words
 was an increase.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 in
Canada
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 40
students
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. In 2012
USA
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, the
UK
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 and
Australia
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 comprised around 210
students
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
Canada
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 decreased by 60 after an 8-year period. Respectively, in 2004 the higher percentage of
students
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 made up
Australia
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 around 19%,
while
Linking Words
 Americans 2%, the
UK
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 9% and
Canada
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 made up 5% of
students
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. Focusing on 2012
Australia
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 frequently increased 24%,
whereas
Linking Words
 Americans are unchanging.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
UK
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 surged merely 13%, and
Canada
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’s rapid growth was 7% after an 8-year period.
Submitted by mamashukuruvbobur31 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, students, usa, uk, australia, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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