Some people believe that studing at university or college is the best rout so sussessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #college #rout #sussessful #career #job #school

Over the

last

few decades, it has been a subjective matter whether young people should pursue studying in tertiary science or give their literacy away and start to effort after graduating from

institution

Correct article usage

an institution

show examples

. From my standpoint, it would be more beneficial for the young generation to carry on teaching at

university

or college since there will be more prospects for career advancement. On the one hand, there are several facts that support working straight after

university

. The primary reason for

this

statement would be acquiring the experience from an early age and getting the hang of

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

in a particular domain

while

their peers are attending classes at universities. To explain, gaining adequate knowledge and becoming highly qualified staff almost in every sphere requires years, and they could begin

this

process after primary faculty

instead

of roaming at

university

. The majority of manual

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

and handwork

such

as carpenters,

for example

, demand experience rather than theoretical knowledge.

Thus

, many people urge juveniles to

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

from an early age.

On the other hand

, I strongly believe that continuing study in higher improvement would bring more benefits, which one could never obtain without qualification. To get a white-collar job, you need to get a certificate from your

university

Otherwise

, you have to agree to become a sweated labour, making it more difficult to earn a living.

In other words

, dead-end jobs are not able to offer a wide job

prospect

Fix the agreement mistake

prospects

show examples

through which you can move up the career ladder. It is undeniable that most successful people have higher information in their specific domain, and by

this

, they have become masters of their

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

show examples

. Recently, scientists proved that 75 per cent of big companies require qualifications from universities from their applicants. For these reasons, young need to study if they want to develop in speciality.

To conclude

although

there are some benefits for young to start working after

academy

Add an article

the academy

show examples

such

as obtaining effort experience, in my point of view, they need to get a higher discipline to open a door for

further

promotion.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Jul 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use

Ensure that the essay is completely free of grammatical and lexical inaccuracies. It's important to proofread your work to correct minor mistakes/misspellings (e.g., 'studying', 'route', 'successful', 'literacy', 'endeavor').

task response

Although the key points are logical and relevant, providing more specific and varied examples would strengthen your arguments. Try to include real-life scenarios or statistics that support your points.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using more cohesive devices and transitional phrases. This will help in linking your ideas more effectively and making your essay flow smoothly from one point to the next.

task response

The introduction effectively outlines both views and clearly states your opinion, setting a clear focus for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed and restates your opinion, creating a sense of closure.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear main idea and collectively they support the main thesis of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, according to the cities development, many people tend to immigrate from suburban. Therefore, the population of suburbs and villages has fallen. From my perspective, I believe this should be seen as a negative trend since this phenomenon has several drawbacks that outweigh its merits.
4.5
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people always take science subjects to become serious in high school whereas some individuals believe that many art classes, such as painting and drawing, make a important role in the development for other subjects and must have had in high school. The writer of this essay agree with this statement and will talk some benefits when you study and practice this subject.
<4
band
Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resouces. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statatment?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the prices of fuels have increased.Now people are beggining to realize that exist many reasons increased the prices of fuels.Personally, I tend to think that the world's fuel resources decrease year after year.
4.5
band
Read the question below and write on the given topic. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. You should write at least 250 words. What's the right age for parents to get their kids a cell phone? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The Right Moment of Cell Phone for Children
<4
band
Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
As technology and civilization getting more developed, more people would desert suburbs and move into urban cities. In my personal opinion, this is a negative development.

Some people believe that studing at university or college is the best rout so sussessful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resouces. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statatment?