IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients
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The provided pie charts represent what percentage
Use synonyms
sodium
Change preposition
of sodium
show examples
, saturated fat and added sugar are included in a typical meal in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat make up the vast majority
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 dinners,
while
Linking Words
 added sugar is mostly included in
snacks
Use synonyms
.
Sodium
Use synonyms
 contained in dinner with %43 and
then
Linking Words
 in
lunch
Use synonyms
 with %29. The least
Use synonyms
sodium contained
Correct your spelling
sodium-containing
show examples
 meals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 with %14, which are
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 number
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 whole pie charts
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three unhealthy nutrients are consumed at least in
breakfast
Use synonyms
. Saturated fat is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 nutrient which subsumed in
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
dinner
Fix the agreement mistake
dinners
show examples
 as same as
sodium
Use synonyms
 with %37. After it contained in
lunch
Use synonyms
 with %26.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it subsumed in
breakfast
Use synonyms
 with %16 before
snacks
Use synonyms
 with %21.
Lastly
Linking Words
, added sugar
generally
Add a missing verb
is generally
show examples
 consumed in
snacks
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 42
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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, after
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dinner with %23. It is subsumed in
lunch
Use synonyms
 with %19,
while
Linking Words
 it is just lower than
lunch
Use synonyms
 with %3 in
breakfast
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, snacks, lunch, breakfast with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
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