Maintaining public libraries is now a waste of money since computer technology is already replacing their function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the past, people study and search
information
by going to public Change preposition
for information
library
. Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
By picking
, reading over or borrowing Change preposition
Picking
books
home that
made a new job ,Correct pronoun usage
apply
who
Correct word choice
as
managed
and Wrong verb form
managing
collected
the Wrong verb form
collecting
books
,called librarian
. Librarians Add an article
a librarian
was
crucial because they Change the verb form
were
can
Wrong verb form
could
make
the Verb problem
put
books
in the right places that
people Correct word choice
so that
can
easily Wrong verb form
could
access
.
Nowadays, technology involves our lives so much. Correct pronoun usage
access them
Human
search Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
google
to ask Capitalize word
Google
what they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
question
. There Correct subject-verb agreement
questions
are
no need to get on Change the verb form
is
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
then
go to a Correct word choice
and then
library
to get only one book anymore. So, decreasing in number of libraries is reasonable. Therefore
sadly librarians got fired.
However
, libraries are not only information sources but also
they are cultural
expression. In Thailand m there is a national Add an article
a cultural
library
that anybody can go there to learning
Thai Wrong verb form
learn
cultures
. some old Fix the agreement mistake
culture
books
that recorded historical theory cannot be searched from
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the internat
internat
but they are only in the book at Correct your spelling
Internet
this
library
.
In conclusion , there are some reasons that we should spend money to maintain some libraries that are vital for historical
part of Add an article
the historical
country
. By the way , we can Add an article
the country
also
use computer
to arrange the system of the Add an article
a computer
the computer
books
.Submitted by itsmeatommm on
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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more organized structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas logically connect throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction to clearly outline your stance and what the essay will discuss. Similarly, the conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points made and restate your position.
task achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas. Make sure your points are directly related to the topic and are clearly and comprehensively explained.
task achievement
You’ve made some good points about the relevance of libraries as cultural institutions and their importance in preserving historical records.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion which summarizes your main points and reaffirms your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.