Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that these days many
people
believe that why. Why
many
Add a missing verb
do many
show examples
people
believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
high education
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is important for
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
life but rather than
must
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
thinks
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think
show examples
not important to bring good
qualifications
to get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
In terms of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
side many
people
have high
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
the main reason given to support
this
claim is that many companies need to high education for many things because she wants to grow up
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
many companies and she wants intelligent
people
to give him
emzing
Correct your spelling
amazing
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
important for
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
taking high
qualification
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qualifications
show examples
to
gut
Correct your spelling
get
show examples
better life and good experience for him. In other
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
it
hard
Add a missing verb
is hard
show examples
for many
people
to
gut
Correct your spelling
get
show examples
good
qualifications
,
firstly
now it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
so difficult
in other words
for
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
to join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any college the college needs to good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
,
secondly
to join to him so all of them need to better
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in high school which difficult for
must
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
people
.
This
is because. you can't
taking
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take
be taking
show examples
Correct article usage
an emzing
show examples
emzing
Correct your spelling
amazing
job if you don't have good
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
your college.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
every
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
smart
peopleto
Correct your spelling
people
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
him high impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
any job so it so
competitionin
Correct your spelling
competition in
competition
this days
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this day
these days
show examples
. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
although
many
people
think is not important to
gut
Verb problem
have
show examples
good
qualifications
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
rather than all the
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
and facilities or
wat
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
ever want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
intelligent
people
to
gut
impact and grow up. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
it is evident that all humans need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
qualifications
and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
education
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and if they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better lives must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
phenomenon
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
deteriorating future.
Submitted by rwf45230 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the basic points of the prompt, but it needs clearer and more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your argument. Try to provide specific examples that illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical progression of your ideas. Some sentences feel disjointed, and there are abrupt transitions between points. Use linking phrases and conjunctions to create smoother transitions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more robust. Your introduction should clearly outline both sides of the debate and your conclusion should succinctly restate your opinion while summarizing the main points.
task achievement
There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make the argument difficult to follow at times. Focus on using clearer and more precise language.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to discuss both perspectives on the topic, which shows a balanced understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which provide a basic structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized training
  • access to better job opportunities
  • higher income potential
  • network with influential peers and mentors
  • intrinsic motivation
  • practical experience
  • personal talents
  • stifle creativity
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • formal education
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