IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the number of student who went abroad for further education from eight countries in 2005 and 2015, and the precentage change betwwen 2005 and 2015

The table below shows the number of student who went abroad for further education from eight countries in 2005 and 2015, and the precentage change betwwen 2005 and 2015
#student #education #eight #countries #precentage #change #betwwen
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, everyone is searching for a better place to learn. The presented table demonstrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals who want to travel overseas to obtain higher
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
 in distinct countries from the period 2005 to 2015, and the proportion in the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 China
initially
Linking Words
 dominated the quantity, Brazil
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest percentage change. Brazil had peaked at 109% from 11000 to 23000
students
Use synonyms
. In China and India, the figure of
students
Use synonyms
 approximately doubled from , 413000 and 130000 to , 818000 and 256000 respectively. Germany's ratio exceeds by 44% from 77000
students
Use synonyms
 to 111000
students
Use synonyms
. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 in the United States
gradual
Change the adjective
gradually
show examples
 increased from 218000 to 325000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, South Korea's rate and number remained static at 107000.
However
Linking Words
, Canada's percentage plummeted to 27% from 37000 to 27000. Japan's ratio hit the trough of proportion by minus 36%.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number
  • student
  • abroad
  • further education
  • countries
  • percentage change
  • 2005
  • 2015
  • table
  • data
  • trend
  • comparison
  • pattern
  • changes
  • factors
  • contributing
  • summarize
  • findings
  • observations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: