IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people , to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
There is no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
 that , nowadays , some
people
 spend their property recklessly .
However
, other
people
 trying to save
money
 for their
future
 . In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 saving
money
 is an important and good thing for the
future
. On one hand , it is undeniable that saving
money
 is so important for several reasons.
To begin
 with , it can help you in your emergency things that demand a lot of
money
 in the
future
. In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, if any disease ,
such
 as cancer ,which
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
money
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the
future
 ,
this
money
 that you saved
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your
future
 will help you to receive medication and to get a
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
 treatment .
For example
 , my dad, always whan he was a teenager until now , he saves a small
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of his salary to our
future
 and encourage us to do the same ,
due to
 his
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that we will need it one day in the
future
.
In addition
 , there are
also
variant
Fix the agreement mistake
variants
show examples
 of reasons for my agreement.
Furthermore
 , to be an independent person in the
future
 . In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, it could easily help
people
easpacially
Correct your spelling
especially
 children to rely on their selves
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
future
 and learn how to use
money
 wisely ,
as well as
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not try to
begging
Change the verb
beg
show examples
 someone to lend
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 some
money
 . For
instanst
Correct your spelling
instance
instant
, if you graduate from school , and you want to go to a big university that costs a fortune , how will you go there
and
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 you
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 even save your
money
 for it ? So , it is an important thing to save your
money
 from
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age to the
future
 for these things. In conclusion , various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 believe that saving
money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
future
 is important ,
bue
Correct your spelling
due
but
 to its benefits ,
such
 as being independent .
However
, others
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
 that, and
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that we live for only one time and we have to enjoy it and spend our
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 anything we want ,without caring about the
money
 in the
future
 ,
as well as
 not
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 it for the
future
 .
Submitted by mariameissa23 on

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task achievement
To improve Task Achievement, try to provide more specific examples and further develop your main ideas. This can make your points more convincing and thorough.
coherence cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on ensuring the smooth flow of information between sentences and paragraphs. You can use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you proofread your essay for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to enhance clarity and coherence. This will make your writing more polished and easy to follow.
structure
You have a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay presents a strong stance on the topic, and you provide several reasons to support your opinion.
task achievement
You have included personal examples that make your essay more relatable and grounded in real-life experiences.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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