Some people think that competation at work, at school and daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
believe that
competation
Correct your spelling
competition
in our life is a good thing.
While
Other
people
think we should help each other,
instead
of competing with others. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and my opinion
at the end
. On the one hand, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
think competition is better than cooperation. First of all, when
people
challenge each other at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work or school, there will be more produce and that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the country. Because every person wants to be the best.
Secondly
, the companies will be more active.
For example
, every year Seven Up and Sprite
they
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apply
show examples
compete. In 2011 profits 7up more than Sprite and the next year Sprite made more profits. The customers are
also
beneficiaries because every company work hard.
On the other hand
, other
people
believe cooperation is better. One of the reasons cooperation is better
,
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apply
show examples
is because when the worker or the student helps each other, the
people
will be kind and love the other.
Moreover
, the project will be more creative, everyone put their idea into the project and that will help the project to be stronger.
It
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It is
It was
show examples
also
important to highlight that, if the
people
help each other, they will spread peace and love in the world. In the end, some
people
think
challenge
Wrong verb form
challenging
show examples
each other in the work or school
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing, but others
against
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are against
show examples
this
idea. I believe
cooperertion
Correct your spelling
cooperation
is better than competition, because that will help all the society and all
people
, not only some the
people
.
Submitted by joudaalhammadi on

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clarity
To enhance your essay, ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and well-supported with relevant examples.
language
Watch out for grammar and vocabulary use. A few inaccuracies are present but they do not significantly impede comprehension.
examples
Try to elaborate further on your points. While the main ideas are communicated, more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
structure
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide a complete structure to your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which meets the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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