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Band 4

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passenger
In
this
 newly industrialized world, products are improved. Non-advanced machines
also
 changed into
driverless
.
This
 technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has advantages and disadvantages. In my view, the drawbacks are greater than the benefits. In
this
 essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it has some positive points.
Initially
, when a vehicle is changed into the
driverless
 it can provide some influence things.
In other words
, by using
this
 system people only do their
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work.
For example
, employment people can do their office work.
Moreover
, it can reinforce their family and friendly relationships.
For instance
, it's free time for drivers and can speak with their families or enjoy
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the road.
Therefore
, have
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
 role in The automotive industry .
On the other hand
, every coin has two sides.
Firstly
,
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of accidents is one of the problems of
driverless
cars
. To exemplify, in the rainy weather the sensors of
cars
 are not working and it is very dangerous.
Furthermore
, at the time of accidents, it is very hard for traffic police to Identify the culprit.
Hence
, there is no doubt
this
 technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 problem. In conclusion, on the basis of the points above, these days
driverless
cars
 are alternatives to normal
cars
 but, it is irrefutable
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 problem of
this
 system is very huge rather than
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
. So, from my perspective,the demerits overpower the merits .
Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on

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task achievement
Clarify and expand on the positive points mentioned. Explain how driverless vehicles specifically save time or improve relationships.
coherence cohesion
Ensure better transitions between points for smoother flow. For example, using connectors like 'Additionally' and 'Therefore' can help the essay's coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showing balance in discussing the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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