In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many argue that it is important to invest
railways
Change preposition
in railways
show examples
between
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
cities. Other
people
believe that the money
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
on public
transportation
to develop
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
.
This
essay will examine both sides of the discussion and give
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
opinion about what I thought. İt is clear that
Correct article usage
the invesment
show examples
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
fast trains beneficial to
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
transportation
and not only local
people
, for every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
. It might be more affordable
many
Change preposition
for many
show examples
people
because of the price of fuel gases.
Also
, it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's spending hours on the roads because of the faster development.
For instance
, In Turkey, fast
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
between İstanbul - Ankara reduce the journey hour
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
2
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
and the price is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than if you think drive your own.
This
development
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
traffic jams between cities
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
holiday
seasons
Fix the agreement mistake
season
show examples
.
However
, if it
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
that
railways
Fix the agreement mistake
railway
show examples
construction is more important, rural and subrural
people
can suffer from
this
situation. Public
transportation
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
affodrable
Correct your spelling
accessible
for many
people
and
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
are the parallel to fast
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jams,
affordable
Correct word choice
and affordable
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no drawbacks to investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
public
transportation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
for the folk.
However
, I believe that there must be
balance
Add an article
a balance
show examples
between
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
development. If all
renevue
Correct your spelling
revenue
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
for
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
of the railways and fast trains, local
people
who come from lower classes might be difficult.
Likewise
, if all money
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
to improve public
transportation
,
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
and middle classes might
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
some
Change preposition
with some
show examples
distance
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
. In conclusion, I think there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the balance between to
invesment
Correct your spelling
environment
should be convenient
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your arguments are fully developed and address all parts of the question in depth. Additionally, double-check for any grammatical errors and improve the clarity of your sentences.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by making sure that paragraphs flow more smoothly from one to the next. Use a range of linking devices to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Your introduction sets up the topic well, making it clear what the essay will address.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the fast train between İstanbul and Ankara, which adds specificity to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: