Some people perceive shopping as a form of self-indulgence, while others think that people should only buy things they need. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, people go to the mall to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
things
for living
. We call Correct article usage
a living
this
activty
Correct your spelling
activity
as
shopping. Shopping can be a daily task and Change preposition
apply
also
can be a reward for someone too
.
Vital products for living are in the mall where you can buy a lot of Rephrase
apply
things
such
as food, clothes, medicine and any basic facility. Some people think we should spend money
only for
crucial Change preposition
on
things
. Because they want to limit the waste of the products overbuying. Moreover
spending less money
will lead to much more money
to save fpr
the future.
By the way, many people love shopping. They call shopping as a hobby which can relieve stress from the work. Shopping Correct your spelling
for
let
adrenaline excrete making you feel happy when spending Wrong verb form
lets
money
. However
, sometimes this
lovely freetime
activity turns into a disease called shopaholic. Correct your spelling
free
This
illness has to be cured like any other disease. Because it can lead to serious event
in the future Fix the agreement mistake
events
such
as making
debt and obsession.
In conclusion, shopping can be Verb problem
apply
some
Correct determiner usage
a
treats
for Fix the agreement mistake
treat
myself
when I pass Correct pronoun usage
me
examination
or win Add an article
the examination
an examination
lottery
. Add an article
the lottery
This
make
me Change the verb form
makes
more happy
spending Wrong verb form
happier
money
for
something that I want to buy so much even Change preposition
on
it
is not Correct word choice
if it
neccessary
. So, I think we Correct your spelling
necessary
sholud
not Correct your spelling
should
strict
too much Add a missing verb
be strict
to
shopping. Change preposition
about
Therefore
you can buy things
that you want if it does not ruin your life.Submitted by itsmeatommm on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Language Accuracy
Work on reducing minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb tenses and punctuation.
Coherence
Enhance coherence between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases.
Development
Develop your main points more fully with additional relevant examples and details.
Task Achievement
Clear understanding of the topic and provided a balanced discussion of both views.
Structure
Introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!