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Many young people change their jobs and careers. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #careers
With today's modern trends, young
people
 have made a lot of changes in their lives, especially about work.In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will show the reasons and discuss both
advantages
 and
disadvantages
 of the problem. First of all, I will give reasons why young
people
 change careers.
First,
because their previous job did not suit their abilities and needs. Probably because it was not their choice or did not meet their needs.
Second,
they had to relocate for personal reasons which required them to relocate for work.
Third,
they want to learn new skills. If they work too long in one field, they will not learn many new things. There are
advantages
 and
disadvantages
.
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
 it is about the
advantages
 of young
people
 changing
jobs
 and careers. They will have more new friends to expand their relationships. By changing many
jobs
, young
people
 will become more agile and flexible. From there, they will be known as someone who is willing to face dangers and will be sought after by companies.
Besides
 that there are
disadvantages
. If they constantly change
jobs
, they will have to start from scratch and some companies will even hesitate to invest in them.
Furthermore
, they will affect long-standing close relationships. In conclusion,young
people
 change their
jobs
 frequently. I strongly believe that the
advantages
 outweigh the
disadvantages
. Frequent changes are difficult, but higher pay can make
people
 ignore the stress because they want to trade everything for more money to meet their needs.
Submitted by document.hanie on

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Using more transitional phrases can improve the overall coherence.
task response
Include more detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
language
Refine the language and grammar to avoid minor errors and improve clarity. This will prevent any potential confusion for the reader.
content
Good job on providing both reasons for job changes and discussing the pros and cons.
organization
The introduction and conclusion are clear, helping to frame the essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career switch
  • job dissatisfaction
  • financial incentives
  • personal fulfillment
  • professional advancement
  • exploratory journey
  • toxic workplace
  • acquisition of new competencies
  • workplace flexibility
  • adapting to evolving industries
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