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Band 5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there are more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment ?

#people #house #apartment
Citizens choose their shelter
according to
 their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
, budget and goes on. But some citizens choose to live in a
house
 rather than an
apartment
 but some others believe that living in an
apartment
 is more beneficial.
While
 there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with
this
 topic, From my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that living in a
house
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 precedence over an
apartment
. First off, living in a home is more secure and private. It helps to get
an
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a
show examples
 better environment to relax and other techniques for private purposes.
For example
; having a home which allows
people
 to walk through the
house
 premises without any interaction from others but
this
 type of advantage didn't get from an
apartment
due to
 lack of surroundings.
Additionally
,
people
 can customise their homes by their own ideas and values in any area of the
house
 they want.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 it
difficult
Add a missing verb
is difficult
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 to customise apartments because of certain guidelines. An example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 point is customising the paints for the wall and certain
installment
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installments
show examples
 of devices etc.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who
like's
Correct your spelling
like
show examples
 to live in an
apartment
 could
also
 have some advantages and they are as follows. Helps to interact and socialize with more
people
 around their premises and helps to have support from
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
people
 more often.
Example
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For example
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, If any function
take
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takes
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 place, the
people
 who
lives
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live
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 around the premises
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 arranging procedures. And
also
 helps to socialize in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of advantages that living in a
house
 that outweigh the opposite
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.
Submitted by akashjoseph88 on

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task response
In the introduction, clarify your main argument more directly. Instead of stating your belief, frame it as an argument or position you will support with points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to reinforce the main idea you are discussing.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow and link sentences within paragraphs more smoothly. Connect the points methodically using cohesive devices like 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'in contrast.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your concluding statement not only summarizes the points but also restates your position more assertively, drawing a clear conclusion.
task response
Good attempt at presenting both sides of the argument before stating your position.
task response
Clear ideas and points are presented, making it easy to understand your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
What to do next:
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