IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #smoke #places #people
Smoking is
injuries
Fix the agreement mistake
an injury
show examples
 to health. Smoking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 is strictly prohibited in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries, but
still
Add a comma
still,
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 some people are looking for
Add an article
a smoke
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smoke free
Add a hyphen
smoke-free
show examples
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
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to
Verb problem
apply
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smoke
. In my opinion I agree that an
indivudual
Correct your spelling
individual
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 not
smoke
 in the common area. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
brefiely
Correct your spelling
briefly
 explain why I
acecpt thr
Correct your spelling
accept the
 given statement.
Firstly
, smoking in crowded
are
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
 will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
sevear
Correct your spelling
severe
 allergic
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 towards the
smoke
.
For instance
, in recent accident
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happpened
Correct your spelling
happened
for
Change preposition
to
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 a girl who
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 exposed to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vaping
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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affects
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
 her skin
which
Correct word choice
and
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 resulted in rashes
in
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
her body. At the same time
ciggrate
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 highly harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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chilldern
Correct your spelling
children
, where some adults are vaping even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
ofspring
Correct your spelling
offspring
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 near. Even the
smoke
 from a smoker
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 people sick and gives them a cough.
Secondly
,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
 of the bars, restaurants and airports smoking is still allowed, but they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 for smokers which they
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 with a proper ventilation system that will not affect the public or
childern
Correct your spelling
children
. In some office
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that sentences are logically connected. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, consider addressing both sides of the issue, even briefly, to show a balanced view. Also, make sure to expand your points with more detailed analysis and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes a clear stance on the issue and gives a relevant introduction.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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