Some companies sponsor sports as a way to adverties themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Advertisement plays a major role
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
the popularity. Some people believe sports sponsorship by renowned companies
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact on society on the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
others suggest
iy
Correct your spelling
it
can cause
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact. I believe sponsoring sports will create interest in people to create sport
while
it can even
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
to attraction towards unknown substances. The sponsorship of sports to get fa
Submitted by sandip.princess on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, aim to fully address all parts of the prompt. Clearly explain both the advantages and disadvantages of companies sponsoring sports, and give your own opinion. Use relevant specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear logical structure. Start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that discuss both sides of the argument, and end with a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are sequenced logically.
coherence cohesion
Make your introduction more comprehensive. State the importance of the topic and outline what your essay will discuss. Ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points and clearly states your final opinion.
task achievement
The essay topic is relevant and timely, engaging the reader's interest in a current societal issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay indicates an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is a good starting point for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: