IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
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Smoking has been banned in public places like parks, hospitals and restaurants in many nations, and it is a law that many
people
Use synonyms
 support. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 initiative because it reduces the harmful effects of passive smoking and
also
Linking Words
 encourages smokers to quit. The primary reason why making it illegal to smoke in public makes sense is that it prevents
people
Use synonyms
 from developing diseases related to second-hand smoke. Passive smoking is something that non-smokers cannot avoid in the presence of a smoker, and it is just as dangerous to
people
Use synonyms
’s health as smoking. A ban in public places limits
this
Linking Words
 type of exposure.
For example
Linking Words
, after Ireland decided to ban smoking in all indoor workplaces, there was a significant decline in lung cancer and other lethal diseases among restaurant and pub workers, leading many other countries to adopt similar measures. The second main reason why
this
Linking Words
 ban is warranted is that it helps those addicted to cigarettes quit their habit. A law prohibiting smoking in public areas forces smokers to leave the company of everyone else if they want to have a cigarette. Most
people
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 dislike feeling ostracised, and
this
Linking Words
 can provide excellent motivation to quit.
For instance
Linking Words
, social pressure brought about by smoking bans is often cited by ex-smokers as one of the reasons they gave up the habit. In conclusion, I believe that making it against the law to smoke in public should be encouraged because it prevents innocent
people
Use synonyms
 from developing serious health conditions caused by passive smoking and reduces the number of smokers.
Submitted by msrinivas7866 on

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task achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the task and responds fully to it. The examples provided, such as the situation in Ireland, are relevant and help support your points. However, ensure that your arguments are consistently developed throughout.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that ideas flow smoothly and cohesively from one point to the next. Consider using more linking phrases.
introduction conclusion present
In your introduction, clearly state whether you agree or disagree and briefly mention the main reasons. This will provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction that outlines the main points and a conclusion that summarises your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, which helps maintain clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the reference to Ireland's smoking ban, effectively illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
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