Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. (2)
Some would say that trying unfamiliar
things
has a variety of benefits, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others
insist that doing new Use synonyms
things
follows risks. Use synonyms
This
essay agrees with the latter, despite the former can learn many insights and conveniences through new experiences, Linking Words
doing
the same Correct word choice
and doing
things
gives stability to individuals’ Use synonyms
lives
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
who prefer always trying new Use synonyms
things
can learn valuable insights which can be helpful in their Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
This
is because those Linking Words
people
usually like to travel Use synonyms
other
countries and to eat foreign cuisines with exotic spices. Change preposition
to other
Furthermore
, they get used to Linking Words
buy
some latest devices without fear, even Change the verb form
buying
they
have not used Correct word choice
if they
such
Linking Words
things
. Use synonyms
For example
, when the latest smartphones or smartwatches are released these Linking Words
people
priorly purchase Use synonyms
things
and even share their experiences and usages for Use synonyms
others
. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that these Linking Words
people
should spend a lot of money and seems like not stable.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
others
insist that doing the same Use synonyms
things
Use synonyms
have
an important benefit which is it makes their Correct subject-verb agreement
has
lives
greatly stable. Use synonyms
People
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
with
the
stable Correct article usage
apply
lives
can more easily solve problems when they encounter unexpected issues than individuals who keep trying new Use synonyms
things
. Use synonyms
For example
, when Linking Words
people
are hurt in their country they will visit familiar hospitals without hesitation, Use synonyms
however
, Linking Words
people
might be confused who Use synonyms
live
in unfamiliar foreign countries. Wrong verb form
living
For
Linking Words
this
reason, I believe that doing the same Linking Words
things
is more influential Use synonyms
to
individuals’ Change preposition
in
lives
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
people
who prefer new Use synonyms
things
can learn various Use synonyms
experience
and use Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
things
faster than Use synonyms
others
, these Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
Use synonyms
have
a critical risk when they meet unexpected issues. Verb problem
are
This
essay believes that doing the same Linking Words
things
can help Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
more stable.Use synonyms
Submitted by cmw9101 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both attitudes towards trying new things and maintaining familiarity. However, make sure to balance your arguments more evenly. You have given more space to the argument in support of stability; it would be more balanced with equal emphasis on both viewpoints.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. The examples should directly support the main points you are making. For instance, mention specific insights people may gain from trying new things (like cultural understanding, personal growth, etc.).
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Currently, some ideas seem slightly disjointed. You can use linking words and phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' more effectively to create a natural flow.
coherence cohesion
While you have a good introduction and conclusion, make sure each body paragraph also has a clear topic sentence and concluding sentence that neatly ties back to the main argument. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This effectively lays out your argument.
task achievement
You have comprehensively responded to the prompt by discussing both views about trying new things and sticking to familiar routines.
task achievement
Your language use is mostly clear and appropriate, making it easier to follow your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?