Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion. (2)
Some would say that trying unfamiliar
things
has a variety of benefits, while
others
insist that doing new things
follows risks. This
essay agrees with the latter, despite the former can learn many insights and conveniences through new experiences, doing
the same Correct word choice
and doing
things
gives stability to individuals’ lives
.
Firstly
, people
who prefer always trying new things
can learn valuable insights which can be helpful in their lives
. This
is because those people
usually like to travel other
countries and to eat foreign cuisines with exotic spices. Change preposition
to other
Furthermore
, they get used to buy
some latest devices without fear, even Change the verb form
buying
they
have not used Correct word choice
if they
such
things
. For example
, when the latest smartphones or smartwatches are released these people
priorly purchase things
and even share their experiences and usages for others
. However
, I believe that these people
should spend a lot of money and seems like not stable.
On the other hand
, the others
insist that doing the same things
have
an important benefit which is it makes their Correct subject-verb agreement
has
lives
greatly stable. People
in
Change preposition
with
the
stable Correct article usage
apply
lives
can more easily solve problems when they encounter unexpected issues than individuals who keep trying new things
. For example
, when people
are hurt in their country they will visit familiar hospitals without hesitation, however
, people
might be confused who live
in unfamiliar foreign countries. Wrong verb form
living
For
this
reason, I believe that doing the same things
is more influential to
individuals’ Change preposition
in
lives
.
In conclusion, although
people
who prefer new things
can learn various experience
and use Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
things
faster than others
, these people
’s lives
have
a critical risk when they meet unexpected issues. Verb problem
are
This
essay believes that doing the same things
can help people
’s lives
more stable.Submitted by cmw9101 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both attitudes towards trying new things and maintaining familiarity. However, make sure to balance your arguments more evenly. You have given more space to the argument in support of stability; it would be more balanced with equal emphasis on both viewpoints.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. The examples should directly support the main points you are making. For instance, mention specific insights people may gain from trying new things (like cultural understanding, personal growth, etc.).
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Currently, some ideas seem slightly disjointed. You can use linking words and phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' more effectively to create a natural flow.
coherence cohesion
While you have a good introduction and conclusion, make sure each body paragraph also has a clear topic sentence and concluding sentence that neatly ties back to the main argument. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This effectively lays out your argument.
task achievement
You have comprehensively responded to the prompt by discussing both views about trying new things and sticking to familiar routines.
task achievement
Your language use is mostly clear and appropriate, making it easier to follow your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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