The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida

The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida
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Firstly
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, I will try to compare the average income for one person in dollars across different
age
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groups in different cities. Starting with
age
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groups not the cities, aged under 18
Utah
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wins here with 28%
then
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the second place goes to
California
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being 17%
then
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Florida
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with only 1% difference. Moving on, to the second
age
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group aged over 60
Florida
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wins by 23%
hence
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, being the
last
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city for the under-18
age
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group
then
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comes
California
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with 13%
lastly
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Utah
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being 8%. Now that we are done comparing based on the
age
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groups we are going to compare based on average income per person in dollars, starting with
California
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winning 23,000$
then
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with only 1000$ difference in
Florida
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then
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lastly
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Utah
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.
Finally
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, comparing the population below the poverty line
California
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won again with 16%
then
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Florida
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also
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second place again being only 4% lower than
California
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, and
last
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place again goes to
Utah
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at 9%.
Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, lastly".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, utah, california, florida with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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