The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida

The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida
Firstly
, I will try to compare the average income for one person in dollars across different
age
groups in different cities. Starting with
age
groups not the cities, aged under 18
Utah
wins here with 28%
then
the second place goes to
California
being 17%
then
Florida
with only 1% difference. Moving on, to the second
age
group aged over 60
Florida
wins by 23%
hence
, being the
last
city for the under-18
age
group
then
comes
California
with 13%
lastly
Utah
being 8%. Now that we are done comparing based on the
age
groups we are going to compare based on average income per person in dollars, starting with
California
winning 23,000$
then
with only 1000$ difference in
Florida
then
lastly
Utah
.
Finally
, comparing the population below the poverty line
California
won again with 16%
then
Florida
also
second place again being only 4% lower than
California
, and
last
place again goes to
Utah
at 9%.
Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, lastly".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, utah, california, florida with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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