In recent years, many small local shops have closed because band customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #band #customers #travel #centre #malls #development

Over the

last

few years environment

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

suffering from

plastic

waste had become one of the major

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

that people should pay attention

Change preposition

to.

show examples

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will bring some viable solutions for

this

problem.

According to

the statistics every year

million

Fix the agreement mistake

millions

show examples

tons

Change preposition

of tons

show examples

of rubbish which includes

plastic

items are thrown

Change preposition

into

show examples

the

world

Change noun form

world's

show examples

ocean

Fix the agreement mistake

oceans

show examples

and

remaining

Correct article usage

the remaining

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them are burned.

Consequently

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature is being hurt by two aspects.

Firstly

, many types of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals, living under the ocean become

exict

Correct your spelling

extinct

Additionally

, smoke

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

big damage

for

Change preposition

show examples

atmosphere

Correct article usage

the atmosphere

show examples

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the problems I have mentioned above are really serious, there are several ways residents and government can do to solve them.

Initially

plastic

things ought to be recycled

instead

of producing new ones. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it may

impact to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

reduce the amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

waste and directly

damaging to

Wrong verb form

damage

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural sources

well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. What is more,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

have to produce

productions

Replace the word

products

show examples

which we need in our daily life from

another materials

Replace the adjective

another material

other materials

show examples

, not from

plastic

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct word choice

if we

show examples

use

plastic

packages it is easy to exist

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

without any hurts to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it may be

great

Change the article

a great

show examples

way

for

Change preposition

show examples

descending

Verb problem

decrease

show examples

damaging

Correct article usage

the damaging

show examples

rate. To summarize, nowadays, the most problematic issue is

plastic

productions

Fix the agreement mistake

production

show examples

which may

harmful

Add a missing verb

be harmful

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the environment

however

, there are some effective solutions for

this

issu

Correct your spelling

issue

Submitted by shakhzod0905 on Sat Jul 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task but does so in a somewhat limited manner. Ensure to fully develop your ideas and use more supporting details and specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay's structure could be more logically organized. Make sure your main points are clearly related to one another, and use transition words to create a smoother flow between ideas.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on your proposed solutions. Explaining how these solutions can practically be implemented will strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by clearly connecting each paragraph to the main thesis. Use concluding sentences for each paragraph to summarize its main points and link them to the next section.

task achievement

You have identified a significant problem (plastic waste) and proposed solutions, which addresses the task's requirements.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow the structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because band customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays children are experiencing increased educational, social, and commercial pressure. What are the reasons for this? What is a solution to reduce the pressure?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write at least 250 words.